Should I treat my gf just as a sex object?

[Bombom]

I gave her my love, my best. I plan to travel with her to another countries. I save up my money for her. Despite all that I have done, she is not very grateful to me. Recently, she got admitted to a hospital because of a kidney infection. I travelled to another part of the country immediately just to see her that night. She had been staying there for 6 days. I asked her if I should travel to see her yesterday morning, she said she didn't want it and didn't like it. She said I overly reacting but the reason I asked her was because she told me the seriousness her illness.

She also keep our relationship as a secret on facebook. I am thinking she might have something else going on with her. I used to give her my best but should I just use her for sex now? My male friend told me I could just use her for sex but not as a gf.

[Sally]

No that's mean. Just break up

[Anthony]

Do it do it do it.

[Kris]

you're a pig... who the hell asks should i just use someone for sex

[Louise]

Ok 1st of just because she didnt change her relationship status on facebook doesnt mean that she was keeping it a seceret a realationship involves two people, you and your girlfriend so it doesnt need the hole world knowing second of all you clearly care a lot about this girl and trying to ure her for sex YOU CANT JUST SWITCH OF YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER, IMPOSSIBLE! Talk to her tell her how she makes you feel tell her that you care but you cant continue in this relationship the way things are going, suggest a break if she cares for you at all then the break will do you both good, it will allow her to think about what she is doing to you and should make her want to change. Woman can get bitchy from time to time its just in our nature but there could be a reason behind it for example "the pill" i was on it for a month and i got out of control bitchy and paranoid so much i had to come of them as it was wrecking my relationship, or it could just be a bad time at home and somethings up and she is wrongly taking it out on you however whatever the reason you must talk to her but if sex is all you think a relationship is about then you shouldnt be in one! If your realy just after a moments pleasure then try using both hands next time.

[>>>>>>>>>]

you could just get a sex toy instead of messing with someone's head

[Bob Brab]

You should talk to her about your concerns and frustrations and be as honest about it as you can muster. If she responds positively then that's an incredible opportunity to built trust and your bond. If she responds negatively or doesn't respond, then you might want to reconsider the relationship, your values and goals and possibly dump her.

[Jack]

I'm conflicted on this: is she an ungrateful girlfriend, or are you a bit too intense?

Hmmm...I'm not really sure.

I mean, dropping everything for someone you're married to...or partnered with...makes perfect sense. If you're dating them however...a phone call ASAP will normally suffice...and a visit later on is appreciated, along with some kind of gift.

Then again, she's keeping your relationship a secret? As if she's embarrassed by it? And you're putting money aside so that you can take her overseas with you???

My advice would be...keep that money you're saving for yourself, and re-examine whether your girlfriend is worth being in a relationship with.

You don't have to treat her as a sex object, but if I'm being honest, if I were in your shoes, I would probably tone down the intensity of the relationship, and if I indeed was wanting to be in a relationship with her, I'd be asking her why she's keeping it a secret on Facebook!

At the end of the day, I'd probably be bailing on the "relationship." If she doesn't appreciate what you did in coming out to see her, and she's keeping your "relationship" a secret from her friends and family, it tells me that she doesn't take it very seriously...and isn't worth your time.

As for using her as a sex object...nah, I wouldn't bother doing that. I'd just be looking for someone else to be with.

[Q and A]

no