Not spoken in months but out of the blue should I let her know ill be in town.....?

[music fan]

..... ok the thing is were together 2 years and broke up over her saying I didnt spend as much time with her as I used to and that I couldnt afford to go on holiday with her (which she knew I couldnt after I had a hefty car bill the month before) It meant what money I had the following month could only cover fuel (we were supposed to drive to france) and nothing more, my ex said she would pay for everything but the last time we went out on a date she paid for fuel she said as a thank you for a lovely date and pulled a real angry face when I put in £40 of fuel and I knew about it for days after.

We broke up in the summer during euro2012, during which she was busy slagging me off on facebook to all her mates saying im useless and why does she bother all because I was wanting to watch the tournament and was having my own health and work problems which again she knew about, I was still texting her and calling her just not as regularly. Amazingly all these other men friends came crawling out of the woodwork whilst shes slagging me off and she did nothing but flirt with them all of which she knew I could read, but she did all this despite telling me she wished I was with only guy she had slept with as all her other exes were tossers.

At the start of august I got a card in the post she sent me saying she missed me loads and how she realised it wasnt my fault that I couldnt go away with her and didnt mean to ruin our holiday to france and that she had faith in me to get through my health and work problems and that she would love to see me for a coffee, I emailed her back 4 days later and told her I wouldnt know what to say to her if we met but i wished her well and hoped her health issues (horrendous suffer of migranes) would clear up and that she would meet someone who she would be happy with. We havent spoken since and she immediately de-friended me on facebook but I can still see odd things on her profile like recently she put shes only interested in non commital hot hows your father and fed up of commitment.

I live 20-25 miles away from her and I have to go to her town tommorow and I want to know should I text her today and tell her ill be in town tommorow and whether she fancies that coffee we never had?

thanks for reading this and sorry its a little long thought best to give more detail so have a better understanding of why im confused =) im 25 shes 36

ive been on dates since but weirdly all ive thought after is shes not my ex mean i still love my ex or just not ready to move on yet like i thought

[glamtastic86]

She's 11 years older than you, but acting like a child. I cannot stand facebook for that exact reason, that it is used to try to get back at people and make them jealous. She sounds like she resents you for not being the partner she wished for when you were together and in my opinion, I don't think you should meet up. Things are clearly still very raw for the both of you as it hasn't really been that long since the breakup. It will only open the flood gates for more disaster, I think. It might seem great to see her and have that coffee with superficial chat, however things will soon turn sour again the past will come up....hence you will be back where you started. She is your ex for a reason, because it didn't work out. It's natural to maybe think it could work, but you have to remind yourself of why you separated. She sounds like she has changed quite a lot since then, or maybe still hurting and not knowing how to channel it properly. I think you should leave it. You're only 25 and have got so much time to enjoy yourself and date others, but give yourself time to heal first, otherwise those mental blocks of your ex will ruin potentially a new beginning.

[Priya]

Hey which planet are you from....she's 11 yrs older than you...not good man.you don't have a life with her.Men love women younger than them for some biological reasons.It's nature.It is okay if she's a couple of yrs older but 11 yrs will be difficult in the future.And keep this in mind.Since she's 11 years older than you, she's got more experience than you in relationship stuff and knows how exactly to make you feel jealous or wanted.You have no business with her is my advice...