I'm obsessed with somebody who doesn't know I exist?

[Youll]

I'm obsessed with a guy who I am 99.9% sure doesn't even know of my existence.

It goes like this, I became part of this group of friends roughly 4 years ago, once I entered the group I found out about this guy who used to be friends with them or that they knew well but that one day ditched them all and found a whole new group of people and now has a fabulous life, they seem to make fun of him, the pretentious things he says on his personal page, how much he changed compared to how he used to be, etc. but I just think he's living THE life, especially when I compare it to mine, everything he does comes across as effortlessly cool and he looks really, REALLY good. Mind you, I'm a gay guy but my attraction to him (who is also gay) is not so much physical, I don't lust him, I just admire him in a way and wish I could be like him or have him as a good friend, he is someone I would be proud to be seen with, although of course I would be his boyfriend, but again, it's not like that, sexually he does very little for me even though he's a really good looking and well groomed guy.

Checking his facebook (its public) his twitter and his instagram has become a habit for me, I know who he's dated and who he's dating, I've googled his name, I know who his closest female friends are, everything. I realize it's not sane but I just can't help myself, I'm in awe of this guy but at the same time I KNOW he's pure bullshit and that he tries really hard to come across as somebody he's really not, but still, I just like it. I've come to the conclusion that we are very similar personality-wise (from what I can see of course) and we seem to have the same obscure taste in music and movies, we make the same pop culture references, everything, so maybe I'm projecting on him? I don't know, one thing is for sure, if he does something or goes to a certain place, I want to do it, he's like my personal Oprah, as pathetic as that sounds, at times I've avoided going to certain places because I know he'll be there, and although he wouldn't recognize me, he would recognize my friends, and I dont want him to know me yet, I don't feel like I'm at the point (physically) where I would like to be for when or if I ever meet him, I wanna cause a good impression.

Help? lol.

[Nspctrx]

you're gay that's the problem.God says don't lay with other men you freak.

[Mathies]

Oh my, are you serious? Man what are you doing to yourself? Hasn't anybody told you before, nobody is that important. You have idealized him for so long that you have lost your touch with reality.

Take it this way, all that cyber stalking that you have been doing so far is UNNATURAL. This is not how human relations work. If you are interested in one person, you go and talk to that person. Any real experience is so much better than what you are experiencing right now.

All that time and effort you spent on tracking what he does, where he is etc is a total waste of your time. You should spend that time on yourself to like yourself more and be better than that guy if possible.

You have to get rid of your obsession about him. If I were you I would try to go and say hi to this person and try to have a conversation. Sometimes we forget that people are just people like us.

If you wait longer it will only make things more difficult for yourself and ruin any possible opportunity to be in his life. You know, maybe he would want to be your friend, even your lover so that's YEAY. But maybe he is really full of *hit and like after 5 sentences you might go like OMG what a waste of time.

Nobody deserves spending that much time in front of a f*cking computer.

Got my point? I hope this helps.

best

[Adelaide]

You need to push yourself past your comfort zone. Instead of avoiding him, try to end up in a place he'll be at where he'll recognize your friends. Try to somehow talk to him. But take baby steps. Take a step out of your comfort zone, and talk to him every once in a while. Small talk. And get comfortable with that. Then gradually take it a bit further.

I don't know exactly how you can get into some kind of contact with him. But it's your situation, you can probably think of something. Don't be afraid. What's the worst that can happen? Gradually become his friend. Don't be shy.