Girl on girl: Is it more likely that she's actually straight, or in denial? Please share your thoughts?

[Maria]

I have a 'friend' that I met at a party a year ago. We're both in our early twenties. When I first saw her, she set off my 'gaydar'. We got to talking, having a few drinks together, flirting and surely enough she kissed me. At one point she said 'Wtf, I'm straight!' before continuing to follow and make out with me. The next few times we saw each other at parties she would stare at my lips and even make out with me again. After a bit of confusion she messaged me basically saying that she's 'not gay' but will make out with girls if she's attracted to them, and said that she likes kissing me because I'm 'fun, attractive and a damn good kisser'. I assumed all our making out meant nothing and never expected it to happen again. To my suprise, the next time we saw each other in town she insisted on walking me to my taxi where she stopped and made out with me again. Surely enough, it happened on a couple more occassions. We became closer as friends, stopped making out but continued to kiss on the lips. She began telling me that she loves me. Because of uni we don't get to see each other very often, but when we do see each other it often feels like there's some sort of deep connection/attraction there. We now kiss on the lips soberly to say hello/goodbye. She messaged me not long ago saying 'I miss your sexy face and lips!'. I recently came out as lesbian to our mutual friends, who I'm guessing have told her and I suspect she already knew anyway. Last weekend it was her birthday and so we spent the day/night together drinking, dancing, flirting and suprisingly making out a lot. It was the first time we've done this in several months despite seeing each other during that time. One of our friends offered to take a photo of us and she decided to kiss me for the photo. When our friend sent me the photo, I sent it to her, and she now has it as her profile picture on Facebook. I really don't know what to think or where I stand with her. Just friends? Denial? What do you think?

[Gloria]

Most definitely denial. I feel very sad for her. The next time you see her just ask her if this is going to go any further and if not than so be it. Find someone else who will not play childish games with you.

[Jennifer]

I think there is a mutual attraction. I don't know how she identifies herself and she may not really identify with anything specifically because she's not built that way, or it's just safer to play things completely straight (except she's not really.)
I think you are getting a lot of mixed messages. You are asking some really good questions. Of course, you should ask her clearly and directly, but you should use your own judgement too.
If you're confused, you can choose to make things clear. If you decide she is your friend (only), stop kissing and making out. Friends don't kiss and make out and don't let her go there. If she's fun to play with, she's fun to play with. That's all it means.
In my opinion, you're not dating, you're playing around. It doesn't matter how she identifies. You are physical playmates. ONLY. Will someone who wants to date you do it if they know you have a playmate who pops into town every now and then? If you begin to date someone seriously and that means no play time, will she understand or get upset? If you're not clear about this, you should make some decisions in your own mind and then discuss it with her.
You go to Uni far apart? You're not in a very good situation to have a monogamous dating relationship. From what I've read, you haven't been give any kind of commitment from her about your relationship, so I don't think you have anything to rely on. Whether she identifies as lesbian or not, she's not acting like someone who is interested in you any more than when you're available and horny. It's hard to meet a good girl. It's harder to meet a good girl when your lesbi/friend from out of town keeps shoving her tongue down your throat.
One of my favorite thing about dating girls is that girls who are friends and girlfriends look the same to most people who don't know any better so we can get away with a lot more cuddle time than a girl and a guy. Straight girls smooch on each other and pose together in pictures all the time. Many people who look at her FB photo will not realize that you spend so much physical time together just based on the picture. I'm not sure that it means the same thing to her that it does to her. If it is meaningful to her, she needs to tell you she likes YOU and not just your lips. If she's not paying attention to YOU she could be kissing on anyone and you don't matter at all.
Save yourself. Draw the line and put your attention to finding someone who isn't so confused. She's got to work some things out with herself. You need to cut her loose in my opinion.

[reme_1]

That's a lot of kissing going on for being just friends.Time to talk.