Should I keep trying to talk to him or Should I just take the kids and get out?

[Crystal]

I don't want to sound like i'm complaining about him but these things are really bothering me and I try to talk to him about it and he shuts me out,brought up about going to talk to a marriage counselor and he doesn't want to do that.

We'll first of all I should say we have two children ages 4 years and 16 months. My husband works full time mon-fri. I stay at home with the boys,clean our home and pay the bills with the money in the bank.

The things that are bothering me are as follows:

He is addicted to sex, if I tell him I don't want to or am tired he ends up starting an argument with me,which he admitted to me he does that for makeup sex. Or he tries his hardest to keep me up just so we can have sex there is no romance or any flirting what so ever,feel like i'm just a toy if you will. Or during the day time he tries to get the boys asleep and wont stop bugging till we have sex.
I cought him red handed before for porn when he knows I hate it with a Passion. Does it behind my back.

I can't really buy anything for myself without a reasoning behind it,he works that's his money, he gets movies,game systems which he ends up taking back,things he wants,just buys the kids diapers and wipes or hardly anything else they need 'till the last minute.

Because of the last issue above I really want to work,I have no babysitter at all if I was to work and no support at all. Our youngest son has MAJOR separation anxiety,my husband doesn't like being alone with the kids for more then 5 minutes and he doesn't want a childcare or babysitter because of the way he was raised and stuff you hear on the news.

I have a facebook account to talk to my family and friends from school that are in oregon,ever night I catch him on my account looking at things I have posted instead of making an account for himself. he does the samething to my email account.

I can't go anywhere without him knowing exactly where I'm at or where I've been,for example we had an argument yesterday about him not getting along with our 4 year old,I went to the bathroom,I heard yelling so when I got out of the bathroom I asked what's going on?

My son threw his toy at his father because he saw my husband playing with his brother,he wants attention from my husband,So I took the boys for a walk,when we got home my husband wasn't here he was following us and was trying to see where we were at because I didn't tell him where we were going I just told him we are going for a walk.

My family is in Oregon and we are in Pennsylvania,I have talked to a counselor in the past about our 4 year old son and at least 3 people tell me that my husband needs to spend time with the children alone and I need my alone time as well.

I thought about leaving but haven't yet because basicly i'm afraid too.

[john]

can u make it by urself if so move on just say fuck him

[no1advice]

I see divorce looming here for sure.

Talk with family they need to help in getting plane tickets for the boys and you. You need to pack up the important things in suitcases while he's gone to work and leave out on a plane and go home.

File for divorce.

I see all this uneasy, sneaky behavior on his part as signs of a cheater. I will almost guarantee you he is cheating on you and he is a sex addict. He resents the boys because they take away from his selfish behavior. This could very quickly become a situation where he is doing harm to those boys.

I say go. But you need your family to help you.

good luck

[Greenwaves31]

It seems like he's trying to be in control. A marriage should be about cooperation and he needs to understand that or it will eventually lead to a divorce. Make it clear to him that if he doesn't change his behavior, you WILL leave him. Let him know that you need your space and freedom and that you both need to cooperate to make this relationship work. Those are the first steps you should take. Then, if nothing changes, I would recommend you leave and leave for good. You deserve someone who loves you and your children, and when a man simply wants to control you he doesn't love you. Seek advice from family members or close friends and maybe see a counselor as well. Someone who can actually see what's going on will be able to give you better advice than I can.