How do I get my boyfriend to stop flirting with girls and lying to me?

[Amber-lee Weston]

See me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year and a half. He is a bigger fluffier guy and I am a small skinny girl. When we first started dating he was getting himself in trouble because girls would message him and make him say things that I think he was caught up in the moment to say things back. After I confronted him about it he had stopped and we were fine. To this day there is a certain group of girls who keep bothering him and asking him for rides and to hang out. All this time we have been dating the only phone he's allowed to see is mine and he always hides his phone and when someone texts him or inbox's him on facebook he takes off or doesn't let me see what he writing. The funny thing is I know he's lying because he doesn't know I know the password to his phone. So everyday I check his phone at night and find something he shouldn't be doing. He has tried to break up with several times because of these girls. Everytime I talk to him about the stuff he always gets angry and says im jealous or im over exagerating. But when I go to ask him to tell me the truth he says totally opposite stuff and I know what he actually said. Lately I have been dressing up more and more to impress him or doing different things in the personal category. Please someone help me stop him from lying and flirting!! I don't want to lose him I just want to change him to a better man!

[MM]

"I don't want to lose him I just want to change him to a better man!"

You can't. This is who he is. He's not going to change unless he wants to, and he doesn't. Either accept that you're dating a flirt and a liar and stop stressing yourself out about what you can't control, or let him go and find someone whose phone you don't have to constantly check because you know you can trust him.

[Dexter]

Hi Amber,

Sadly guys don't change easily. If you're looking for way to make him changes, you might as well just leave him because he's not going to change. Unless he loves you so much that he'd do anything for you. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem like this is the case.

I don't understand why you love him, but this guy is a a big time flirt-er. And you know it. To me, I consider flirting is the same as cheating in relationship. And he's keeping secrets from you because he thinks you're a fool. But you're not. You knew he was lying and all.

I think there is nothing you could do to stop him from flirting with other girls. He likes to do that. And he's disrespecting you by doing that behind your back and even lying to you. And he will continue to do. And he might cheat on you one day with another girl. So think about this clearly and decide whether you should still be with him or not. You know what the answer is, but you just afraid to act on it. Well Amber, you're beautiful and I'm sure you're a wonder person. I think you deserve someone who's better than him. I don't think you guys would have a happy ending. So I think you should end it before things go too deep and you might get hurt even more. I wish you the best.

[Kelsey]

There is absolutely no way you can change him. You gave him that first chance, and you claim everything was fine, and now its worse? So if you continue to talk to him then hes gonna say he changed again and its basically gonna be a pattern. The only thing anyone can help you with is probably you should either : Stop wasting your time. Your dating him and hes flirting with other girls, so your being used, I've been in the same situation. The other opinion : You could try leave him, then he will see what you mean to him and he will stop cheating. But its basically up to him. Or you can stay with him and continue being used and in an unhappy relationship. If he gets mad when you talk to him about it then its not gonna get better. Sorry it's life.