Help with adult school phobia?

[Daniel]

My first five years of school were pretty traumatic. My first day of kindergarten I told her I missed my parents, she screamed, "So does everyone else!" and when I started to cry she said "Don't cry or you'll make everyone else cry". I got really sick and started throwing up; I basically stayed in the bathroom for as much of the day as I could, and my mom picked me up before nap time. The day after, my mom put me in a Christian school(I guess she figured the teachers would be nicer?).

My kindergarten teacher was pretty nice at first, but I was terrified of school, so my parents would spank me when I refused to go to school; every day I got spanked but I still refused, so they had to pick me up and put me in the car, and repeat the inverse process when I arrived at school. I was always sick at school, asking to go to the bathroom, wetting my pants; any reasonable person would have assumed I was faking it, and the teacher was reasonable.

That went on for my whole traditional school experience. My second and third grade teachers were nice, but my classmates started bullying me pretty severely, and, at the same time I was having difficulty with math and my dad was getting impatient with my difficulty to learn(he had to help with my homework). My mother, a retired teacher, had gone back to work in order to pay for my private education. She reckoned that, instead of working full time for a torturous education, she would just homeschool me. I got involved with church and boy scout activities, and I got bullied in both(I was a loser, and I would probably have bullied me if the tables were turned) but not nearly as bad, with the exception of some minor molestation. Anyway, normally I wouldn't say anything, but I suspect that relates to my problem; school phobia.

I don't want to say it's a severe phobia; but it's just commonly triggered. Back to school ads, facebook posts about school, mention of high school sports, seeing school busses..etc. It's not rational or fear of a specific thing, it's just...a fear. I've started my first semester at my local community college(I'm 19 by the way). It's not as bad as my fear of high school, but I'm still very anxious about the professors and the campus in general.

How can I overcome this fear?

[shallowwing752]

Go & see a counsellor to talk it through

[OrakTheBold]

The school you are in may have a counseling center, or may be associated with a University that has a psychology department where you can get counseling.

If not, ask for a referral to a counselor in your area, you need trained assistance to overcome your phobia.