Do other women have marriages like this...description?

[Robin L]

Basically tired of being treated the way he treats me. I also am not cool w/ his parenting and because I'm always licking my emotional hurts in some corner I'm also not able to be an effective. Nobody else is in the pic except maybe in our minds such as parents, cousins because they just are not sociable people and never come to our house. We've been 2gether 25 years now. I don't like being so isolated. He comes home and does not want to talk. He doesn't want to talk on the weekends or in the mornings. We have no commun. when we were dating I was young and figured he was into being active on the date i.e. shooting pool, pinball machine, movie, etc.etc. and kept waiting for him to talk but he never did. Then I thought he'll start talking when we got married LOL but all he said was an exclamation, "I have to go get my oil changed" and would leave, or "I have to study computer books." Again, that was okay for a few years when I was young but then I really wanted to a meaningful conversation and not just working, cleaning and total silence. I had that when I was single, came home to an empty apt. for 7 years before I got married! And my mom wasn't a talker before that...she was a coach and screamed all day and after work and on days off she had to save her voice so she never talked to me. My Dad never was around that much. I never bonded with anybody growing up because my mom's job and social life seemed to come first and she had lots of friends and we would be bop from friend to friend's place and not stay for more than 30 minutes which as a kid wasn't enough time to get past the hi, where do you go to school stage. My husband talks to other people deep meaningful conversations for hours...ex girlfriends, his sisters, his old friends, his co workers night and day but when I start to talk he cuts me off and actually will just leave our house and he got a separate cell phone so I can't track him. Sometimes I have followed him in my car and when he sees me he pulls over and says he's calling the police on me because he feels like he's being stalked but why can't he take me with him to wherever...he never even asks if I'd like to ride along to get out of the house. Sorry this is so long. We have kids who are very popular and they also communicate nothing to me, I'll notice they're gone and find out later another parent picked them up and took them out somewhere...I'd like to be asked permission and also if I'd care to join the outing. I have nothing to do and live by a set of standards that the old ways were the best ways so I shun t.v. and computers...I've gone to classes, done volunteer work, nothing turns out like I feel like it should in these areas...gone to counseling...gone to church socials but people keep asking me my religious views but I don't have any, my parents religion was working and doing what they liked, we never discussed religion at home and so when I give an answer like "I feel like we all need to do our best in life" people don't like that answer but it's just what I feel is the truth and so even there I feel like an outcast and I'm always in this weird group position of person who looks around for potential dangers to the group and points them out to everyone which I'm kind of tired of, would rather be the person people take their suggestion. It also hurts that husband and kids have this big time social lives and my childhood was about doing parents laundry and cleaning the house. I have facebook friends who ask me to come visit but they live 12 hours drive from where I live and my car is old as the hills and what if I drive out there and they shun me (because on Facebook they shun me and treat me bad, unfriending me and refriending me over and over for silly reasons) and I waste $600 in gas and 24 hours of my time and make my car less valuable to boot plus this will reinforce that I'm just a loser. But there was a time in my life I was the member of a group when I lived in Rhode Island for a year with my aunt and uncle because my mom and dad I think were in mental hospitals as they were mentally ill, and there I had friends we'd go trick or treating, sledding, snow ball fights and play board games for hours but then it ended and that was 40 years ago and it was the only time I had kids with me that included me in something they were doing. I think if I dressed provocatively and strutted my stuff on the streets I'd get attention and be happy here in this nasty city I've been living in for 25 years now but I also would probably get arrested for my behavior. But I'm that desperate. I don't want to "get another job to meet new people, I've worked jobs since I was 9 because I was lonely and just decided to break out because my parents ignored me and I've had 100s of jobs and just don't know.

[Kellie]

Sounds like you are pretty lonely and unhappy in your marriage.....I wonder why you married this man in the first place if you have nothing in common with him?.....If you want to try and save your marriage, I would suggest going to a professional marriage counselor together and trying to talk it out.....
If your husband is unwilling to try marriage counseling, then I recommend giving serious thought to ending the relationship so you can move on and try to find someone who will love you and accept you for who you are..