I'm really bitter towards my ex's girlfriend, how should I deal with it?

[Kiwi Kitty]

I was with my ex boyfriend for 7 months, and towards the end he cheated on me with this girl, (who he is with now, and has been for a few months.) Before this we were totally okay with each other, not exactly friends, but we were on good terms. After all of that stuff happened I was really cruel to her, and I said mean things about her and fought with her a lot. Now there is this thing at my school where a small group of girls meets and talks about their issues/ The thing is, she's in the only group I can be in, and I have a LOT of issues that I wouldn't want a lot of people knowing about. I can totally give her a chance, and trust her with this information, but I'm worried that she won't feel the same way. I'm with someone else now and totally over my ex boyfriend, but I asked her if she was okay with me joining the group (over Facebook messaging) and she wants to talk to me about it in person today... I feel like I would really like to be on good terms with her again, and maybe get to know her a little better, how can I try to convince her to give me a chance?

[Carl]

You have more issues than he. Grow up a little and mature yourself. Only one thing is certain in this world. 'Change'. We all change, we all have to deal with the changes of others. If you desire a b'friend that has no other female friends, then you have already lost the b'friend. You will have to get over the in-securities and be happy with what you have, not dwell on what you don't.
Next quit that group. Why in creation are you spilling your personal life to a group just a experienced as you are? Make your own decisions, live your own life. Keep personal things personal and private. If you need advice, ask one who has the knowledge and experience to provide that advice.

[Winona R]

I think that she can understand where you're coming from. No one wants to be "buddies" with someone who destroyed a past relationship and caused them pain. Two things that she did, and you retaliated the same way anyone else would have. In anger. The best you can do now, is tell her that you want to bury this hatch and move forward with her, just the same as you've moved forward in your love life with another person. She might say no, but if she says yes, you can go on to show her that you meant what you said by being open in your group sessions but also ask for her forgiveness. I wish you the best! Good luck

[brainiacATwork]

You just said here what you should say to her personally. Put it this way......

"I'd really like to be on good terms with each other again and I'd like to get to know you better. I've gotten over everything that happened in the past.and want to move forward. Is it possible that I can convince you to give me a chance to prove my sincerity to you about this?"

[loudbird485]

you seem like the kind of person who doesn't like to cause waves or tries to see the best in people.
that is all well in good. but in reality you really need to have a dose of reality. You might have a set or morals that another person might not have (like possibly this girl) you have to deal with.

in saying this above. i would suggest that you stay on good terms with her. I would not try to be friends with her or confide in her or trust her as far as you can throw her. You should at least agree to be civil with each other and respect to keep certain things on the down low.

i would talk to her and say i know we had a crazy interaction with each other. I"m not looking for friendship or the like but we can be civil with each other in this group. Please keep my passed out of this and name none if the topic arises like the experiences we had to share.

i would just keep it at that.

if she plays dirty then you can react in the manner that seems fitting for you. but just talk to agree to be civil.

last words i have is don't trust or become friends with a person who has back stabbed you, stole ur man, didn't care about ur feelings at any point of time. Bringing a person into your life like that makes you look like a joke who she will not respect you at all. Plus you have to stand up for ur self, its principle. plus she's not the type who can be trusted. keep ur smarts together when dealing with people like this.

hugs