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Shelly · 11-09-2012, 11:14 AM

So it's all over, after 19 months of cheating in 2008/9, and it only ended when I found emails between them.

These 2 went back and forth for months before he cut her off last summer, and dedicated himself to me.

There is an injunction on him, put in place by her, civilly not criminally, I might add - meaning he was never found "guilty" in criminal courts and I think she set him up.

At new year, he met her to tell her he does not hate her BUT that she's wrecked any chance that they "might have ended up together" or at least friends. I know she was devastated.

I now see that he's joining the same Facebook groups as her - then suddenly on Sunday morning, they were ALL deleted. This must have been after he told her the injunction "ruined things" but the injunction was July! And he definitely joined those groups this month, then quickly deleted them just as quickly.

Why is he telling her he doesn't want to know her, then joining her Facebook pages? I do not think he has her phone number.

nicecrayon005 · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

So he can keep tabs on her and diddle her again. Duh.

~NIKKI~ · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

Congratulations.

You won your own husband by default because the other woman ruined her chances of them ever ending up together.

Why even waste your time with him?

Intellectualcent662 · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

'woman'?

because he is still doing her

flatmilk898 · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

Have you ever heard of "putting on a front" ? I think he is using you ! They are probably working the facebook thing together against you !

mesrop b · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

The biggest reason for a spouse cheating is NOT for sexual needs. It is usually because he/she is not getting the emotional needs. ie. feeling loved, ect.

So if you want to save your marriage, a LOT of power is in your hands.

I recommended reading "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" to understand how men work. Once you understand you can sincerely love him as a man.

smarterthanujk · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

I don't want to hurt you, but need to be brutally honest: If someone cheats on you for 19 months, they do not have the respect for you that you deserve and you can not trust the person. How could you ever feel secure in your relationship? Maybe the Facebook thing was innocent, but it has you on Yahoo asking advice. And maybe his car will break down next week and he will come home late, but you will think he was cheating again. How will you ever know what's really going on? You deserve better and you deserve someone who will love you and respect you and NEVER CHEAT ON YOU.

Ashley83 · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

bc deep down he really wants to be with her. my ex husband cheated on me and after being seperated for few months we decided to try to work things out. he made a myspace page which i didnt mind but then found out he had befriended her family members and friends. he didnt seem to think there was anything wrong with it. i then realize things will never change and he will never grow up.

JimCwood · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

If he had any respect for you - he would put as much distance between this person and himself as possible - not go looking for her (however brief)

But then again, he wouldn't have been anything between them in the 1st place if he had any respect for you.

You've lost trust in him, that's clear - I say have more respect for yourself and move on. I know its hard, but no trust, is no relationship!!

Destiny · 11-09-2012, 11:22 AM

He was trying to keep tabs on her activities, but then realized for whatever reason that this wasn't a good idea, so he deleted the pages. He is still attached, but it sounds like he may be trying with you. You need to ask him why he's done this and you all may need counseling if you haven't already had it. It will help him in understanding what you're going through and also the emotions he's currently going though as a result of the affair and breaking it off.