DAFUQ IS MY DAD DOING???!?

[mirabelle]

im a 13 year old girl.i have no siblings or close family.i live with my 2 married parents.
im not gonna confront my dad or tell my mum(shes bipolar).

on my dad's phone(blackberry bbm):
"thats a sexy profile pic,makes me wanna hold u.love u babes miss u too xx"

"awww thanks sweetie love u too xx"

"you will always have a place in my heart and i will always make time for u"

in another convo on his facebook with the same woman:
"cant wait to see u hunny xx"

"miss u so much x"

in another convo:
"just got out the shower"
"wish i was there to dry u xxx"

its definativly not my mum or family.i checked her profile:
i have her phone num,home address,name.
she lives an hour away from us.shes in her 30ies.
my dad is 51 years old and is a protestant preacher!

who could i speak too?what should i do?

btw i took snap shoots so i have proof.i know it was wrong of me to look in his messages.:-(

IM A NOT GONNA SPEAK TO MY MUM OR DAD ABOUT THIS

also my dad cheated on her before when i was 6.she became very ill and deppressed so she ended up in hospital.
after a year she gave him a second chance.
i dont want this to happen again!

please HELP D:

[NickC]

Honestly, I know you said you don't want to involve your parents but I think you need to confront your Dad when your Mum isn't there. (As long as your 100% sure that there is something going off)

Just start arguing saying who know and ask why he is doing it, refer back to your mums state when you were six, just leave. You know, "you make me sick..." etc. just leave, i don't love you anymore. Get out of this house...

[clover]

He's a preacher!? Adultery is a sin!
Also, to solve this problem I think you have to tell someone, either tell your dad, or your mother. I know you don't want to but it's really the best thing to do. For instance if your husband was cheating on you, and your daughter knew about it? Wouldn't you be a bit upset if she didn't tell you. Tell your mum, but make sure you're only suggesting it, not stating it. Don't let her thing the worse. It could be nothing. If you REALLY don't want to tell your mum, Ask your dad about it. Other than that you could ignore it, but that's really the worse thing to do, since you already know about it and you can't ignore it. Tell someone, that's the important thing. Good luck

[M]

You have done the right thing in talking about this. A secret locked up inside slowly kills you.

The most important person here is YOU. Your mum knew what she was risking, and obviously your dad fully knows what he's doing.

It is very important to feel you are not alone. Email me if you like, I actually wanted my parents to split up because they were so unhappy.

Secrets eat away at relationships, it is not a tenable way of living, so I would question your decision to not talk to your parents about this. However you know what is best.

If you do talk to your parents, I would talk to your dad first. Let him know how it's affected you. And don't listen to his bullshit, just say you know and you want him to admit it to your mum.

If he does not want to stay with your mum, it is unfair on her to keep the secret. I believe in the sacredness of marriage but it may be your dad is feeling unappreciated in some way, although I find it hard to sympathise with him.

I pray that you will do the right thing, whatever that is, and never feel that you are alone - always ask for help, as you have done here. All the best

[Corrine]

Um no don't say you don't love him anymore, that was horrible advice, he is still your dad he always will be. You should first talk to someone you can trust, a friend, family member, a school counselor, a teacher, someone you look up too...other than your parents. Get your head straight, try and understand how your dad may be feeling. Yeah its not a good thing what he is doing, but there is always a reason, maybe he isn't happy anymore, and it's because of what happened last time that he cant tell you or your mom. You're gonna have to end up talking to him eventually about it, once you know how you feel and you don't go in there saying something that you might regret later. I feel for you, I hope you do the right thing, and don't go judging your dad too much, even though it might seem like he doesn't care right now, he does, trust me. Good luck, hang in there!

[Joël]

Wow that's heavy. There is now way to say this without making u feel bad, but your dad is obviously in an affair, or in the early stages of an affair (flirting etc.). If I were you I'd confront my dad on a neutral way. Ask him about other women and tell him how you feel about him making your mother so sad. Maybe since he's a preacher you could ask him about what the bible says about fornication and loyalty, and especially honesty, and he will get the hint. Maybe It's hard seen that you are young and probably do not have the linguistic and the proper emotional skills to confront your dad in this way. Maybe there is a close friend to the family who you can talk with to help you do this.
It's a long shot, but sitting and watching your family being influenced negatively is no option to me..
I wish you the best of luck and happiness.

[IWTK]

It doesn't matter about a person's religion, if they are into (weak) to a certain thing and don't help themselves get over it...THEY ARE GOING TO DO IT! Since your mom is sick I'm glad you aren't going to tell (burden) her with this information. And since your dad cheated before and got caught, he may get caught again by your mom. You've caught him the second time??? You're not going to be able to stop it, so love him and know he has issues that he needs to resolve. Be good to you.

[Jess]

Listen to me - your Mum NEEDS to know! Why do you not want her knowing? Yes, she's bipolar, but that shouldn't stop her from knowing that her husband's cheating on her? You shouldn't have to treat her any differently than if she hadn't had bipolar. It's not fair on your mum. Maybe talk to a counsellor, or a teacher at school, they'll be able to help you. Just tell them your story, like, just say that your mum has bipolar, and you don't want to upset her, and that you do not have any close family you can turn to -
Your Mum gave your Dad a second chance because she could obviously 'trust him' - well, YOU now know that she can't. And for a successful marriage, there NEEDS to be trust, and love etc!
Your Dad doesn't seem to be doing the above AT ALL.
You need to tell someone.
NOW.