I had this dream about my friend and now I feel really bad?

[Winter ♥]

I have this friend. I'm not a lesbian but she is SO beautiful, one of those girl who makes people do double takes, always looks perfect...yet she's really reserved, aloof, kinda shy.
Ever since we first met, she'd always stare and smile at me, she was so nice and friendly to me, always complimented me, etc. Eventually she gave me her number and we'd text all day and night, she'd open up to me a lot, but I'd hardly talk to her in person.

Honestly I treated her like sh*t, ignored her a lot (not just her, everyone because I'm dealing with some issues right now) and I can tell it hurts her. And sometimes I'll talk openly and friendly with everyone else but awkward and quiet with her and she'll just watch as I talk to people. Like in class I sit with this group of people at my table and she's on the other side of the room (assigned seats) but she's always watching me as I talk to other people.

Like one day we were talking just fine, had a great conversation...Then the next day she had walked into class and sat down, smiled at me, and was staring at me for about 15 seconds, waiting for me to finish talking to the person I was talking to. But I pretended not to notice, then when I finished talking to the girl, she was still staring, but I was pretending to read something on this paper I was holding. Then she just sighed and turned around, stayed quiet the rest of class...

And I still kinda treat her bad...not intentionally really.. But I haven't talked to her in about a month...I just randomly stopped (we were never really "close" to begin with, almost, but not quite) and now she just stares at me all the time, in class, in the halls...And sometimes when she sees me she'll smile really big and say hi. And on friday she came over to my desk randomly just to ask to borrow a pen =P

***Well anyways, last night I had this dream...We were in class, she had walked in and sat down behind me but the next row over and was just staring at me. I was talking and being friendly to everyone around me, purposely ignoring her even though I really wanted to talk to her.. and she was just watching me. Finally after ignoring her for awhile, I turned to ask her to see her report card? And when I looked at her, her face was really red, she was sniffling like she was trying not to cry, I saw tears in her eyes...and when she talked her voice was really shaky...and she was just like "yeah" and handed me her paper...****

Now I feel like such a jerk...because I remember sometimes I'd see her post things on twitter and facebook after days I'd ignore her a lot and I'd feel like they were about ME...She'd seem really sad/frustrated like "will this ever change?" "today was horrible" "feel like I'm waiting for something that's never going to happen". And I've been treating her like this for like 2 years (we're Seniors now) and she's been nothing but nice and friendly to me =[
It's not that we have "feelings for each other" We're both just friends...and straight, she has a boyfriend.
?? - Someone might've accidentally thumbsed you down...But i really like your answer a lot! Made me think and you're so right....And I have a reason why I ignore her (and others so much) =/ Just dealing with some personal issues

[:)]

Try to start over and be friendly with her. It seems like she'd forgive you and accept your attention. If she brings up having feelings for her, just tell her the truth: that you're not interested.

[??]

i can honestly say i don't know why you ignore her if she is so nice and awesome, i mean you even realize that you were being a jerk ._. it's probably something i don't understand but seriously you just need to have a talk. a 1 vs 1 talk. just be open up to her and how you're sorry if you were ignoring her talk about how you were going through some personal thigns and that you really appreciate having her as a friend. i think she would reallly really appreciate that and feel much much better. both of you will. why do you continue to ignore her ? i can tell by just reading this that you are a very nice and wonderful person the only thing i dont get is why? there seems to be really no reason as to why you ignore her. You should really appreciate her more b4 it's too late... my dad and i used to be close until i started to get annoyed with his constant presence. now that i think about it, i was annoyed becuase he was always there for me. which is just a stupid reason i guess, but seriously i guess i wanted some space for a little, and then i sort of ignored him. he seemed sad, and then he died a month later from a heart attack. That's when i realized that he was always there for me but i was never there for him. i never got to apologize and i regret every single second i live. Please do me a favor and just be friends with soemone as amazing as her. haha im a dude and im crying as i write this. oh godd... anywayz you never realize what you had until it's gone