I just found out that my mom is cheating on my dad. What should I do?

[Genni]

Lately my mom has been "working" very late. She leaves around eight in the morning and doesn't come home for twelve hours at times when she is only working eight hours. My sister (20) thought that maybe my mom was with this guy friend of hers that she used to do things with a lot, so I (21) looked at the data usage for her cell phone and she hasn't had any contact with him, but there was this other number on there whom she has been talking to quite often and for long periods of time. So I went onto her computer because she never logs out of Facebook and noticed all these notifications from Zoosk, a dating website. So I went on there into her inbox and discovered that she has been talking to this man (who is nine years younger than her) for three weeks and has been seeing him for at least two. They're also having lunch together today. And his phone number matches the one I saw on the data usage. She has told this man so many lies that I am sick to my stomach over it. The most hurtful thing was she told him that she's widowed and that my dad died four years ago from a brain tumor and that my sister and I were pushing her to date again. I don't know if my mom and this guy have had sex, but they've definitely done other things. I just don't know what to do and I am so hurt. I knew my mom was a compulsive liar (she lied about having cancer twice), but this just takes the cake. I want to tell my dad because he doesn't deserve this. He is the nicest person and basically worships the ground my mom walks. I know that he loves her so much and she just takes him for granted. I don't understand what she is thinking. She has had so many friends of hers get cheated on by their husbands and has always said, "If you want to cheat, then leave the marriage first." My parents have been married for 22 years now and I don't think this is the first time she has cheated on him. I can't believe my mom would do this to my dad. I know I need to tell him, but I don't know how to go about it. I know that this will crush him and my mom will probably want to disown me. I really want to call my Grandma (my dad's mom) for advice because she knows how my mom is, but at the same time I'm not sure I want to tell her before my dad even knows. I haven't even told my sister yet. I just don't know what to do.

[hankredwons]

do nothing .or find the guy and kick his butt

[College Girl]

Confront her..speaking your feelings and concerns.

[Yup]

Send her to me.

[Michael]

Talk to grandma. She knows all the players and years of accumulated wisdom. She may be able to bitch-slap your mom a few times and get her back on track. With gma, you have a chance for repair with minimum damage.

This adult problem is beyond your ability to solve.

[Mac Cody]

You need to tell your dad. Either through your grandmother or yourself. The action your mom has placed on your father is horrible! If she is sleeping with others, there is a possiblity she my catch something and give it to your innocent dad. Your mom either needs to get help or leave your dad. Your dad needs to know before its too late!

[Cindy]

Don't listen to these people telling you to talk to your mom. Your dad needs to see this evidence for himself. Tell your sister about what you found, then get together and tell your dad when your mom is gone. Tell him exactly how this makes you feel and that you're telling him this because he deserves better than this. Make him feel important and loved. Tell your dad to confront your mom when she gets home and make him show your mom what "he" found. Make sure your dad tells her he found this alone and not to bring you and your sister into this mess. Good luck

[GreenGrasshopper]

Talk to your sis first. Your mom needs help.

[H A E]

Pack some of your mom's stuff, and text this guy while they're at lunch. "(Mom's name) is married! She is not a widow. Her children do not support her having an affair ... and her stuff is waiting on the porch for her to pick up and take wherever she likes." Have a bag on the porch when she gets home. If she tries to come inside, it would be great if it were legal to kick her ass. Not that you'd get in trouble anyway. You're a kid, and when a judge hears what's been going on, you won't get sent to jail. That's probably the only thing that will keep her from doing this over and over again, but being outted will scare the crap out of her. Good luck.

[789]

Well, that's tough. Tell you what you should do: talk to her and make her feel ashamed - because she's acting like a 13 year old and if her 21 year old daughter has to beat some sense in her head, then so be it.

You decide if you should be harsher or softer - but be firm.

Tell her what she's doing is the most cowardly thing ever - to cheat and lie. Tell her that by disrespecting your father and you by lying so big you feel ashamed and hurt of her. Tell her that she should be a proper adult and if she has some problems with your father, she should address them verbally rather than go for the easy one.

I hope all turns out well.