Why do so many people want to hang out but don't?

[Toиy]

I can't count how many people say they want to hang out with me, then don't. I'm not even looking for friends. They'll approach me with the idea and I'll say, sure, come by whenever. They'll never come by or call.

These are all people I know but aren't friends with. Half the time I go out to the bars by myself. This is one reason I don't look for a relationship. Or heck, the few girls I accepted who have asked me out I never ended up going out with them. It's as if people are afraid of me or something, but if that were the case why ask me in the first place? It's as if they consider it small talk to suggest hanging out with me.

I do not understand it at all. It's as if people don't want to go through the work, yes, the work of calling me. I would never imagine telling someone I want to hang out with them if I didn't. I'm at a loss of words for this. I do not get it.

It's as if there is some sort of universal law in place that is keeping me from having more than 1 friend at a time. It's as if potential friends are all over the place but they just can't be friends just because. Like if I made a friend extending over the 1 friend limit rule the world would instantly crash.

Like people are fake and they float around in my life waiting to replace my current friends should something go wrong. Seems as though they're space fillers. I can't stress the word fake enough. It seems as though people are so close but they're actually not.

I live my life in a sort of haze. I just sort of do things. I don't date, I don't try to make friends. The world just seems to happen around me as I move from one location to the next in both the job field and where I live. I think it feels like nothing is really changing. It has me questioning who these people really are and what's actually going on.

But of course things don't revolve around me because that would be silly. That is how it seems though. It's at a point where if someone says they want to hang out, I know better than to take them seriously. Of course I accept most of the time. Then by some crazy twist of luck something goes wrong or they'll end up not having anything to do with me.

Like Facebook. So many fake friends who have been kidding me or themselves that they would actually have anything to do with me in the future. They'll display some sort of interest for a day then it's over, completely. They remain a shell on my friends list after that day. Girls who have asked me out, people who I have met, it never happened. I'll try to talk to them and they lack any sort of interest after a certain period of time.

I've had girls who have expressed interest in me give me their facebook name, or even their number, and it just sort of dies out. End up removing them after a period of time. I quit even bothering to remove people now because so many people are like that, I just say ^%$* it.

I dress very unique, maybe the flare of my crazy dress styles and my look wears off and they realize that I'm just a person with an apartment and a job. It physically exhausts me, I'm just like, what the %$%& is this.

People on here don't know me. I'm just trying to understand what kind of people go from acting like they care to forgetting. I've experienced it long enough that I'm considering some sort of science fiction story out of it. So, any ideas?

[Jordan]

Too much to read....

[CJ]

Maybe you do need friends if you have time to type all of that....

[Racheal]

They may want to but are prob. Intimidated byyou but some (most not all) ppl are fake as a 3 dollar bill and just want attention. Most of these ppl are insecure and just want validation that ppl want to be around them.

[Rosie]

First of all, that's a lot.

Second, maybe it's not only them, maybe it's you too. I mean, I clearly don't know you but you do sound like a downer. And people want experiences, to try new things, meet new and exciting people. It's what we live for. If you go up to a stranger and start off with, "I can't count how many people say they want to hang out with me, then don't." (not unless it's a joke) but people don't want to hear that.

Third, people change their minds. Sometimes they get busy, sometime they lose interest. Whatever it is, it's not your problem. And because they had invited you and you showed up alone, find someone new to talk to while you're there. Maybe you'll get asked out again and the process repeats. So what, you'll meet new people.

Fourth, people can't revolve around you, not unless you're some superstar or celebrity, you're just going to have to face that even if you "dress very unique," you're just going to be that person who "dresses very unique." And that's okay, so live with it.

Take it from me, a 14-year-old girl.

[K]

I think that people say they want to hang out because they want to get to know you better. It's a way of saying "I like you", "You seem cool", etc. My really popular sibling told me the secret to actually getting people to hang out with you rather than just talking about it: make them laugh. He said when you can make someone else laugh then that's when they begin to put in the effort to hang out with you outside of school. I totally understand where you're coming from though, I too only have 1 friend and the rest are just fake people who float in and out and act like they love me so much one minute and the next minute they've forgotten about me. I know I'm not the person to give advice seeing as I'm in the same situation as you, but I would suggest that you ask for their number and call them and make an effort to see these people yourself. Maybe they think you're not interested in them based on the way you responded (i.e., not excited) when they asked to hang out, so they never called you because they were afraid to seem like they were chasing after you. Just a suggestion! Good luck. And tell me if you find something that works because I'm in the same boat as you (except that I have depression too).