My boyfriend is talking to a girl he used to love, and I don't know if I should be worried about it?

[A]

(OUR HISTORY AND WHY I BECAME NOSEY)
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months now. I knew him for 2 months before we started going out. He understands me like no other person, he likes me for me. He never lies to me. He will tell me the truth even if he knows it will end up making me mad at him. We talk about everything...except his old girlfriends. He want talk about anything to do with his ex-girlfriends (idk why). Just that he has had 4 past girlfriends. He recently told me that he has cheated before (and that bothered me because to me a cheater is a cheater)

(WHAT HAPPENED)
Well, the new paranoid me was going through my boyfriends phone and I started reading messages between him and a girl on Facebook. It turns out that she is an ex-girlfriend and she ended it with him about a year ago. She said that she didn't see a future with him(on facebook messages). They didn't talk anymore on Facebook until about a month before me and him started going out. She Messaged him having a casual conversation by catching up and then she randomly asked him “Did you love me?” and he responded by saying “of course…..” They didn't talk anymore after that. Then about 3 weeks later me and him started dating. We have been together for 10 months now. She randomly messaged him once or twice a month, for about the past 5 months saying “hi’ “hey” “hello” and he never said anything back. But now just recently (a couple of days ago while I was out of town) he responded back by having another casual conversation with her catching up. Nothing bad or anything. But now, knowing that he has cheated on girlfriends before, this makes me nerves, and I wont to talk to him about all of this but I don't want him to know and be mad that a was going through his phone/personal stuf.

(HOW I FEEL)
Him saying to her that he loved her hurt. Probably because he hasn't told me he loves me. Before all of this happened, and I read his messages, I thought I was falling hard for him and maybe in love with him (and I kinda thought he was falling for me) but now it all seems kinda sour. Before now I thought he was just a little nerves saying i love you to me/a girl, but now I know he isn't and idk what to think now.

(PLEASE HELP, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO)
Should I confront him about it? if so how should I go about doing it?(I can never get him to talk about ex-girlfriends with me) Should I even be worried? Am I just a paranoid freak who doesn't give my boyfriend privacy and I should stay out of his phone? Or should I act liked I never saw it and keep on going through is phone with out him knowing it, and see if I catch him doing anything?(id rather not).. What should I do?…..

I would appreciate anyones input. Especially after you gave me your time by reading all this. idk how to make it a 3 sentence question. Any advice or opinions would be very much appreciated and helpful to me.

[mandiiee]

So he doesnt know u go through his phone?

Hmm... my aunts,parents,guy friends,ie. Have always told me that if u go through ur bf/gf s phone its cause u dont trust them.
If that is so then u need to start trusting if not u wont make it.

I would suggest u telling him the truth. Thats what i would do with my bf but then again his were on his fb wall. Just one time he told me to check hid mail and saw messages from 2 different girls.

Anyways, tell him the truth. If he gets mad make sure u know why it is. Or why dont u try asking him how he feels about u. Or maybe ask him if hes ever been in love or something.

If he gets mad with anything that doesnt have to do with u going through his stuff then u should worry about it because hes doing something wrong.

Now, the fact that he didnt answer until u left makes it bad. I would worry(sorry) but if he wasnt doing anything bad then why would he wait till u were out if town to answer her.

But if she has a bf then dont worry about it maybe they just stayed as friends.
Maybe u could also try talking to her but without him finding out and asking her if she likes him or something.

Goodluck!

[easy does it]

Sounds like your in a tough situation. The only thing I can offer is to lay it out on the table and just say that you have been going through his messages. He may not react positively, but he's been honest with you (mostly) and I don't think keeping this a secret is going to be good for either of you.

Maybe you should ask him exactly why it is he won't talk about past relationships. It's obviously something that can't be ignored ad hole it may be a touchy subject it's better to have at it than to push it under the rug.

Good luck

[Rachel Brown]

Just talk to him about it, he doesn't lie to you, so why should you be keeping the truth from him. Maybe he'll be mad but if he cares about you and you express your feelings to him about the situation im sure he'll be understanding and kind. I had a similar situation with my current boyfriend, his girlfriend broke up with him and he loved her and would tell her. He's still friends with her, and for a while i was really concerned cos sometimes they'd talk for hours and finish at like 3am. She's pretty and they have tonnes of history so naturally i was really really worried about it. But i talked it out with him and he said there was nothing to worry about and that as much as he had loved her he still wouldn't do anything to get back together with her. Later on he told me the most important person in his life wasn't me but his bestfriend who he loves, and at one point tried to date, they're supah close and i had bottled it up for as long as i could before pretty much breaking down and talking it out with him. This wasn't as nice because i didn't talk to him about it sooner so there wasn't much he could do about it but reassure me that in time i would be more important. Moral of those random stories: Talk to him about it and dont bottle it up or put up with it. The longer you doubt him for the worse your relationships going to be Good luck ^_^