Please, I really need help and options?

[Josh]

I just need other peoples' input and not the people who I see day-to-day.
Idk how to say this, but I guess I start here...
Jade and me started dating Nov. 7th, '11. I knew right there she was amazing. Bout a month later I started bein a dick and showing my anger and depression. Plus, we had exchanged pictures... We were sixteen. Then she turned seventeen Dec. 23rd, and a week later we patched things up with her parents (they found out).
So after that incident, I did good til round the time I was kicked out in April of this year. Then I turned seventeen on the 27th. I went back to being a bully... And old habits...
So round end of May, I flipped out cuz I thought she was cheating (she wasn't), and I guess her mom got hold of her phone and said we couldn't be together anymore, and then Jade got her communications taken.
Next day I get a sneaked-text saying she's sorry and loves me and wants what's best for me and that we couldn't be together (can't remember if she said for the time being or what). So that set me downward. Few days later I attempted suicide.
So the following Wednesday, I saw her at youth group and kept trying to talk to her, but she would ignore me because her mom said she can't talk to me... So I broke down and went outside and shortly after she came out in tears and we talked. I apologized over and over and she said she couldn't accept it because of all I did, but she said she loved me still and basically everything the breakup-text said. Then I said I'd fix myself and be the man she deserved. She said she really hoped so. Then we hugged and that was the last I spoke to her.
Then most of our friends, some who said they( help me through it all, stopped texting me. Jade's closest friend who said she'd help told me she talked to Jade about me and that, if I can remember, we couldn't be together. Then she stopped talking to me.
So it went back and forth to "does she love me or hate me?"
So now, last night, I was at a friend's, and I asked him to sign in to his Facebook. I deleted mine. I went to Jade's profile and checked to see if she still had pictures of us. She did. So that broke me down.
Then this morning I texted her... I said I was sorry and that stuff. And I asked if she wanted the letters and stuff back. I wasn't expecting a reply. But her mom wrote, basically, "ya, everything. Get someone to deliver. Don't contact Jade again."
I didn't reply cuz I was going crazy.
So now I'm left with what the hell to do. I know I screwed up and I hate myself for it. I love her and miss her and it sucks not knowing what SHE says, when everyone talks instead of her.
What do I do? She turns eighteen Dec. 23rd. Do I wait til then? I'm going crazy not knowing anything... Everyday I cannot get her out of my head. I have dreams with her in them and I always wake up crying or sweating and that ruins my day.
I don't want to move on because I love her and feel there IS a chance. And whenever I ask someone if she hates me, they say that she never has hated me. So again, that leaves me hangin and crazy.
Sorry to complain, btw... Just need insights...

[Marie]

She is still under her parents rules... As long as her parents dont want her with you then it will be very difficult. Your making it harder on her, she cant disobey her parents or they will punish her..you dont want that, right?

[bashfulstranger]

First off, grow up, be a man and ask for help. there are counseling programs out there for little or no money.
Losing your temper just because you can and being a bully is stupid and destructive.
Her parents don't like you because you're being immature and really don't want this for their daughter.
Second, get away from Jade. It's difficult I know but grow up first, make something of yourself, be somebody and if she's still around, go for it.
All this will take time and at 17yrs. old you've got all kinds of time.
Good Luck!!!