Parents posting nasty things on line?

[Tyla]

I am a member of a private facebook group for parents in my area. I really love the group, it's a great place to vent,get advice or set up play dates with other local moms. Well lately there have been some problems with information that was posted on the site being taken and twisted into nasty rumors on an anonymous web forum. We know it has to be a member of the group but have no way of knowing who. It is a relatively small group less than 100. What we need are ideas for how to make our group back into the safe haven it was. Any advice or ideas are greatly appreciated!
It was a parents asking for advice on how to determine if her child could possibly have ADHD and was then turned into that she "dopes her kid up because she doesn't want to deal with him" So it's pretty nasty stuff. And being that we live in a very small town this was common knowledge with in hours. So we are trying to work together to move forward with the group with out feeling like any thing we say could be turned and used against us. The thing is we still don't know who the poster was so working together means working with this person :/

[some guy]

This is obviously a potentially serious situation as the rumors are to do with parents and their children, as opposed to some kind of highschool group just for kids. What kind of information (ie the category, the exact details are none of my business) was spread? Was it very sensitive or private information about someone/their child (eg that the child has a previously unknown health problem or that their parents have some kind of serious issue like domestic disputes), or was it relatively harmless stuff but stuff which the person involved obviously wouldn't want spread around (eg that someone's father wears women's underwear or something like that? I don't mean to ridicule anything, I'm just trying to get a picture of what kind of offense is being caused).

Have you approached anyone else in the group about this (who you trust) and asked them to let you know anything?

Have you considered making the information public on your group and let everyone know this is going on? Point being, doing that may make some realize who the individual in question is and they may tell you.

I hope you find this person. I was part of a non facebook health support group which was going along fine (ended when the service stopped being free and so it migrated onto facebook). About 2 years prior to the group ending, one individual became very talkative after saying nothing on there for a number of years (I was an admin on that group, and am on the group which is now exclusive to facebook, but it's a small group now roughly the size of yours).
Anyway, this person began bombarding the forums on this group with inane chat (it's for people recovering from brain injury so that was common stuff, but REAL bad with this individual) and she soon turned to annoying others on the group enough for them to begin talking behind her back in an unhelpful manner.

The original, non facebook, group ended not long thereafter and the facebook group is now very quiet (I post there still but few others ever do). I think it all stemmed from this one person annoying everyone on the group and making it an unhealthy environment.

Just before the site ended, as an admin (but not the owner), I kicked her off the group after raising concerns with the owner about her influence.

Bottom line is, had she not had the impact she did on that group, the now exclusive to facebook support group would likely be more active than what it is at present.

In hindsight, what I think I should have done is post a forum topic voicing concerns over the conduct of "certain people" (ie not mentioned specific names) and urged others to anonymously and free of concern about having the spotlight drawn upon them, approach me with exact writing of what that person said, which I then would've presented to the owners and had her banned.

I didn't do that, and now few post on the facebook group (which doesn't bother me all that much now because I'm largely better again and just post there to keep the group alive).

I suggest you carefully make the subject public and urge people to notify you of any unhealthy involvement from anyone causing concern to anyone there promising they're conduct not being tolerated.

[relievedtub387]

worrying about someone elses off handed remarks is a waste of time move on