Dating site disaster hellllllpp!!!!?

[M91_00]

Please don't judge me for this- I'm really not a shallow person from a looks point of view but I do have standards and I have no idea what to do now. I really don't know how on earth to word this without sounding a jerk. I just hope someone understands

Met this girl on a dating site and she looks lovely on her profile pic- We've been talking constantly via text for about 4-5 days now and then just now we've added each other on Facebook. I have now found out she's not just- "curvy" like her dating site profile described. She is really really big, like off putting big :/ Thing is I feel such a jerk cos i've told her I really really like her and she is lovely etc. But now i've seen a picture of her body I just don't know what to think- she's really overweight. Massive compared to me even. I'm relatively slight and only 5 foot 8 and she is just so big :/ Since i've already told her I like her how on earth am I supposed to let her down gently? Please someone give me some advice. I know there's more to a relationship than just looks but she is just massive compared to me and I can't see how we'd work. I know this probably sounds awful to someone from the outside but I almost feel that i've been deceived by her. There's no way I could have known from her dating site pictures and I had to do a bit of digging round her friends on Facebook to see what she really looked like. Please help me :/
Fake- thanks for answering, but there is no way on gods fucking earth I could have know the size she was by her face. Curvy in my mind- is not what she is. She's just completely overweight :/
Michael M- you are a total star mate thank you for that advice. I just feel really bad cos i've kinda got emotionally attached and I was attracted to her don't get me wrong- she does have a pretty face. But she's the size of a house :/ Thank you though you've made me feel a lot better about this man.
Beth- That was also great advice thank you very much!
Kate- that advice was not awful at all- thank you for your input

Jonathon- Thanks mate that was helpful too, I just don't think i'm going to go down that route

I really liked this girl- even if she'd been slightly overweight I could have coped but in the nicest way possible, and there's no way getting round it, she is obese :/ I think she's a great person and probably would be a lovely girlfriend but I don't find her attractive. Problem is i've told her i'd love to be with her and i'm really intersted in her etc etc and I was being genuine. I was REALLY interested in her. I think after considering all your advice, i'm just going to gradually stop talking to her and hope it fizzles out without having to resort to maybe hurting her feelings. If it does come to that though, i'll say someone else who i've liked for ages has told me she likes me- or something like that to save her the heartache. Thanks for all your help people x

[Fake]

Why didn't you ask or hint at height/weight? Usually you can tell by the face e_e you could just say that she's not what you're looking for or that you and another girl just seemed to "click" better than you and her.

[Michael M]

Relax dude it's all good you're not a horrible monster for not being physically attracted to some one. Relationships and interests always start at (And by that I mean like the first look) by the physical attraction, then the emotional, or in your case the other way around. If you're not attracted you're not attracted, if you continue on with a relationship with her and you just can't bring yourself to be attracted to her then it's better to end it now before it becomes an even bigger problem later on. I don't really know what I would do but I guess just don't go on any dates with her, gradually talk to her a little less each time. It's not like you're committed to her and I know I probably sound really shallow describing this but it is what it is. Good luck

[Beth <3]

You don't sound like too much like a doosh ;P It's a natural requirment for a person to be sexually attracted to someone and if you arent attracted to that girl, it's not your fault . Just try and let her down lightly , perhaps you could just move the relationship you already seem to have to a friendship and she'll finally get it . Slowly begin making it clear that you're not interested in anything more than friendship and hopefully everything will work out! Good luck

[kate]

Ouch man, do you guys have any mutual friends? If you don't, delete and block her on facebook and block her off your dating website (not sure if you can do that).
If you do, only thing I can suggest is, meeting up with her, and then just not agree to anything she says, but in a nice way. So have like, nothing in common almost?
Or...you could tell her the truth and just say you're not that interested.
Or...you could say you've recently been talking to this other girl and even though she's lovely, you've got more in common with this other girl?
My advice is awful...but good luck

[Jonathan]

She was borderline dishonest with you by trying to hide her body type from you.

Call her bluff. Ask her for a recent full length pic. She might:
* disappear, knowing the jig is up; no action necessary on your part.
* send you an older or edited, skinnier picture, suggesting an intent to deceive; at which point you direct her to the fb pics you saw and ask her what the deal is, or
* send you a current picture, to which you can respond with something like "This is hard for me to say, but it'll hurt both of us less if I say it sooner than later. I don't think you're my type physically." Which will probably hurt her for a minute, even if you're not a jerk, but she'll probably understand.

Good luck, man. I know this is hard to do.

[greatcloth717]

Don't worry bro, sht like this has also happened to me, Wheaties do is I completely stop talking to them and block em in every possible way, I don't see it as my fault, but the girls because she kinda lied by not putting any body pics up and even saying she is curvy, that's why I always ask for a body pic straight away now

[Becky Anne]

I am an obese woman and I can tell you that you are not obligated to date her. There are people I am not attracted to and would never date. Some men are attracted to obese women, and obese women do not have to be lonely. But, she should have hinted in some ways that she is really big.

What options does this dating site have for listing one's body type? If "curvy" is the largest option, then it is not entirely her fault. If another option would have fit her better, then she should have used it unless it was really deragatory.

You have got to keep in mind that people put their best pictures on dating sites. Some people put older pictures because they see those as "most accurate".