I'm so confused!! What was our situation?!?

[Nariko]

I'm part of a circle of friends (me being the oldest) who have known each other for months, some for years and there's one particular guy friend that had recently caught my attention (he's 19 and I'm 21)
I've noticed him stare at me from the corner of my eye and whenever we made eye contact we're both smiling and blushing.
I used to be able to talk to him normally but now he makes me feel like a little school girl with a crush. I mean in that one moment, it was like everything and everyone just stopped, my heart felt like it was about to explode, and I can never eat whenever I think about him or when I'm with him.
So I spoke to my sister and my best friend about the situation I was in and they both were surprised and supported me which is great!
My best friend, Kerry and her boyfriend, Tom even had a chat with him to confirm whether he was attracted to me or not so I wouldn't end up a fool who goes by wishful thinking.
I was happy to hear that he did in fact have feelings for me. Kerry said that the ball was definitely in my court, and this gave me the confidence to make it clear to him that I liked him by the odd hugs, laughing at jokes/ funny stories he shared with me and I even compliment him about the irresistible cologne he wears.
So when it came to the point where I practically confessed my feelings, he said he only wanted to stay neutral. So I laid off a little and gave him space; sometimes if the mood between us is good then I have a laugh and make suggestive comments and threats about cuffing him, I even swing the keys in front of him to make things more exciting. (He has a good sense of humour, thank God). We soon became even closer and now we even have a good banter on Facebook chat, even when we're together; we also talk about music etc. I even got into the habit of dressing up my in my best, make up all nice and subtle and hair all done up. I do this to make me feel good about myself, but when I see that I've 'knocked him dead' then it's a bonus reaction.
I mean, all is good between us, we've held hands, shared a kisses and we even slept together.
But when Tom heard that we had sex, he ripped into me saying:

'Are you taking the p*ss...? You "fell" for him because he continuously looked at you and smiled one Saturday night, he always does this. He's a inquisitive guy. Took you long enough to get the picture.'
*part of an actual email*

Something like this took a massive chunk out of my confidence and made things awkward between me and this guy. I mean we're cool again and hanging out, but it seems the ball is no longer in my court. I still really like him and he still stares and smiles at me, but we hardly talk at all now; not in person and not even on chat and it's heart breaking, it's like there's a barrier between us and I want to break it down but whenever I try, I feel like their eyes are all on me, watching. I don't think I can even be alone with him for more than five minutes.
I really like him but now I feel I have to let go because of everyone else and he doesn't want our relationship to cause destruction to our little circle of friends.
He's decided that it's better we stayed friends so I respected that and backed off, but I can't settle until I know for sure if his feelings for me were really there.
So now I'm in a position where I can no longer talk to anyone in the group about the situation between me and him because I feel it's taboo.
All I want to know is whether he actually liked me in a way of love. I'd ask him myself but he's not a very open person when it comes to strong feelings, plus whatever he says contradicts his actions.

Extra: I haven't even been in a serious relationship for 6 years, so I have no idea what made me fall for him. I wasn't feeling lonely because I wasn't really bothered about being single, I have lots of friends and I'm preoccupied with work and other things, in fact I was rather content until I saw my guy friend differently, now I feel I can't live without him, even after all the drama that happened within the group.

Thank you for reading, I know it's rather long...and hopefully not confusing.

[Alan and Kathy]

you need new friends and to forgive your self for being a fool, move forward and do not look back.