What would you do if your rather spoiled teenage daughter....?

[missdarkstar]

sounds like you'll be in trouble.You should never, EVER use credit cards without permission especially with all the fraud out here. You just described a concerned father.....they are actually hard to find these days......some kids dont get clothing budgets, so you may actually be very lucky......boarding school may be his way of feeling like he's giving you a better oportunity for you to focus on school and could also be his way of being over protective.....same thing with the myspace. So many people are trying to meet people they met on myspace, that probably why he doesnt want you to have it....he doesnt want you to be abducted. its usually the ones who think they wont be who end up getting targeted by perverts and killers. ............Just sounds like he's trying to protect you and has your well being in mind. cant really stop him from doing that. he wouldnt be able to forgive himself if something happened to you....i'm sure

[rxing]

I dont agree with you ,

you have to respect your parents whatever their rules are it's there house. If they say no internet, then no internet! but you should remind them that you will need to survive in todays tech savvy world so maybe only when parents are around. otherwise NO INTERNET!

All but # 2 are acceptable, but if you are stealinghis credit card and going out half naked and going on the internet and doing other things they dont want you doing then you are a brat and deserve to get sent away.

[Amber P]

Well, If I had a teenage daughter, and she "borrowed" my credit card for parenting lessons, she would be getting a job to pay me back for "Borrowing" my credit card.
I wouldn't be happy about that, and I would be less likely to give in to her 'demands'
First of all, I would try talking to your father. If that doesn't work, I would ask your mother to be the voice of reason.
Try earning your father's respect, and possibly he would be more willing to allow you some more freedoms.
Even though it is hard to do sometimes, don't backtalk. Don't get in trouble at school.
Maybe he is holding you to a clothing budget to teach you the value of money.
About the wardrobe inspection, possibly he wants to make sure you look presentable. What type of clothes do you wear? If I had a daughter who was wearing revealing clothing, she'd not be allowed out. That may be considered by some a wardrobe inspection.
Does your father think the boarding school will give you a superior education?
I know it's frustrating, but I believe every parent has His/Her child in their best interest.
Maybe he believes allowing you to use Facebook/Myspace will allow for internet preditors to some how contact you. It's all over the news. Possibly he feels like he'd be a bad parent to allow you to use those sites.
I hope this helps a little in seeing your father's side of the story.
He may seem like a dictator to you now, but I believe he loves you more than you could EVER imagine.

[keltimes]

First, I would have to laugh. That's pretty damn good and not something that I would've thought of--on-line parenting lessons. Kudos for thinking of it.
All of us parents screw up sooner or later. We all go through these years hoping and praying that we don't do any permanent damage. I read this list and I think to myself that if this was my daughters list of complaints against me then maybe it would be time to take her on a field trip to the local group home. There are 100's of 1,000s of children out their that don't have a computer, wear hand me downs, whose parents are have to shop at the Salvation Army or ask for donations from local churches. I would have to say that the simple fact that she has a clothing "budget" and a wardrobe to inspect at all makes her pretty damn lucky. I would have to say that in asking my daughter to be respectful to me and to school personnel is what I call a "gimme"--as in expecting that of my daughter is automatic. I expect for her to obey the rules in school as much, if not more, than she does the house rules. The corporal punishment thing--well I certainly don't agree with beating a child, but if one of my teenage boys was disresptful to me, told me to shut up, or cussed at me--well they would know as they said that they were getting a slap in the mouth for it.--and they aren't so old that they won't catch a well deserved spanking from time to time.
I don't believe in making threats--only promises. "If you do that, this is what is going to happen" and if he decides to do it anyway, I follow through with what I said I was going to do.
Really sucks about the boarding school, but it kind of sounds like "Daddy" is thinking that maybe a stricter, more structured environment would do you some good. And I'm sure to you that it feels a bit like you are being banished, like maybe he is sending you away because he just doesn't care enough to fight it out with you. While that is a possibility--some people are not as connected to their kids as others are--it could well be that he just simply doesn't know what else to do with you. Fighting with your kids can be tiring and draining. Lord knows that there have been times I had to tell my kids to just leave me alone, and that they really needed to get away from me and it wasn't because I didn't care--it was because I was afraid of me--I was THAT angry that I needed them to stay away from me until I knew that I could handle the situation without going off the deep end.

[ionian23]

Solution: meet him halfway. Diplomacy makes you look more mature, anyway.

Some of your bullet points are reasonable parenting behaviors (that is, have shown to be effective in changing behavior and protecting your children from themselves), and some are not. SO: offer the following...

1. Email, Facebook and MySpace - with the threat of online predators, this is a reasonable thing for non-tech savvy parents to be afraid of. The best way might be to teach your father exactly what you plan to do with these things. Email today is becoming a necessity, rather than a luxury, especially in school. Prevention of a personal email account seems a little much, but that's his decision. Facebook/Myspace can be protected - show him how you plan to use it, and how it can be limited to certain 'invitees'. BARGAIN: you get to have email and EITHER Facebook or MySpace, and he gets to decide how many hours per week you spend on it. Expect him to enforce this, and don't be a big baby about it when he does.

2. Corporal punishment - this simply doesn't work, so you might as well tell him that neither empty threats nor actual spanking are effective in modifying behavior. BUT, you can't backtalk either. If you do something wrong or stupid at school, you SHOULD be punished somehow. Offer a reduction of hours on Myspace. Backtalk = no Myspace for the month. You get the idea. The whole point of 'punishment' is to get you to STOP backtalking. If you don't change, then the punishment ain't working.

3. Clothing budget: Erm - that's a good idea. Score one for dad. You SHOULD have a budget, and learn to use it. It will make you richer in the long run, and who doesn't want that? If you 'borrow' (steal) his credit card to purchase anything (including fictional parenting lessons) you absolutely should be punished, 'cause that's what happens in the real world, isn't it?

4. Boarding school: Hmm - this is the decision of your parent. BARGAIN: no trouble at school at all for one year = no boarding school. Basically, you have to prove to him that you're mature enough to trust. And do it in one big 'ol hurry. If boarding school is being thrown around, then you're skating on REALLY thin ice.

5. Wardrobe: This is absolutely acceptable for him to do. Deal with it. And, you will have to change if he decides so. HOWEVER, you might be able to meet him halfway again. Find out what his criteria are for
unacceptable, and then work within that. Things like makeup, hemline and neckline length, piercings, hair and what can be visible and what can't are all criteria that can be met by you. If you follow guidelines you both agree to in advance, it gives you the chance to dress in a way unique to you while preventing him from unfair blanket statements like: "You look like a tramp" or whatever. Remember, neither dressing unkempt or like a complete turboslut make you look mature or trustworthy, and you need to appear as both if you're going to get him to lighten up on you.

Good luck!

[EmaWeeE]

lori ur lucky, i dont even have internet anymore. i had to ask my mom a milion times to let me on rite now. my internet only lets me on disney and nick. its sucks ass. but my new comp is coming in 2 days at my dads house! and all those rules suck i would wear wat i wanted to wear and stuff. have fun at skool.......

lol and i have used my moms credit cards more than i have even used mine. she dosnt notice.......

[connie o]

Sounds like a trip to the basement with my husband for a good hot bottom.

[olschoolmom]

Sign you up for a super strict military school to learn some respect.

[Colleen O]

My teen aged daughter wouldn't be "rather spoiled" to begin with. You don't need to have an e-mail account or a Facebook or a Myspace account. I don't believe in hitting children of any age, moot point. You should be on a "clothing budget" or working to make money to purchase your own clothes. It's up to your parents whether they send you to boarding school and it is their responsilbity to make sure you dress appropriately.

[camera chic]

Let's put it this way, she'll have trouble sitting for awhile.