Should I be worried if my father I've never met tries to add me on Facebook?

[Tigerlilly]

He is not a very exemplary man. He has a bunch other other kids I think, with a few women other than my mom. I think he was in jail for drugs when I was born or something like that. But I've never met him! Or even seen what he looks like! Mom didn't keep any pictures. I'm really battling with what to do. I would like to try to get to know him, but my Mom seems to REALLY want me to stay away from him. I'm 17 and a half by the way. Thanks.

[AmateurBig874]

Stay away, I think.

[Megan]

You should definitely stay away from him. I made a similar mistake not too long ago - I got into contact with my father when I turned 18 even though my mom told me he was crazy and I should stay away from him. Guess what? Turns out he is indeed crazy! It was a huge mistake and turned into such a mess. We got into a huge fight and now I refuse to ever speak to him again. So yeah... mom knows best, listen to her.

[?]

U should stay away cuz he could be dangerous since u don't know him

[Reagan Mcguire]

Go with what your gut tells you.. But I would not add him for sure... Good luck to you!

[bleuroze]

All you know is what your mom says. Even the best of parents will skew things based on their own bias.

I would say build a cautious relationship. Be aware of what you have on your page that can give him too much info, just in case. Also, read through his. Ask him why he hasn't been around and weigh the answer against what you're certain to be true.

Find out about any siblings you have through him and try to get to know them too.

[Rusty Jo]

Certainly do not add him to your facebook, that is too personal. You would have to start out in a small way, like a letter and have him send you a picture of himself. Maybe he has changed and maybe he hasn't. You have to take care of yourself. Why did it take him so long to be in contact with you? I would be more interested in finding out about your step siblings.....also slowly and carefully. Are you absolutely sure that he is who he says, like your Mom knows for sure that is him?

Here is a story about my friend that I met in 5th grade. We are still great friends. She did not know her Dad, and somehow they found him when she was about 20. He lived in Florida and she went to visit him, and her Brother and her Mom went too. He would not come and see them, they had to go to where he lives. Turns out he was a huge sexual pervert who tried to molest her, when the Brother and Mom had to return back home for a brief time. He was really nice to her before that. He was married and had a daughter. He was lucky my friend did not destroy him she was sooooo mad and hurt. Come to find out he was also molesting his daughter. You have to be very careful. She hated him after that and wished that she had never found out about him, because she has to live with the knowledge of what he is. Again your dad might be different......just take it really slow, remember my friends dad seemed great for quiet some time, especially around others. All the best to You.

[khl]

He's basically a stranger and with a criminal record. You could reach out to him and learn more about him but since you didn't mention that you wanted to it doesn't sound like you are interested anyway. If you are curious but not looking for a relationship you hide portions of your fb account (location, relationships status, pics etc) from all your friends, accept his request and look over his info and pictures, then delete him.

[Laura]

your father obviously wants to meet you to see what you look like i mean can you blame him for wanting to know what his own child is like i would ell your mom and see what she thinks but don't add him on facebook until you have told your mom what is going on and how you feel. hope i helped.