to have or to not have engagement party?

[secret_shadows]

me and my wonderful fiance just got engaged and im overwhelmed with all the planning that needs to be done! is it traditional to have an engagement party? should we even have one?

[barthebear]

Usually, someone else hosts the engagement party. If money is a factor, I would skip it and put all your resources into a wedding. You could , however, send out little engagement announcements with a photo of yourselves. That would be fun.

[devonian Rodders]

Down to choice really.

Thing is if you plan to marry in the not too distant future then an engagement party would be pointless. All the expenditure could be channelled towards the wedding. However, if the BIG DAY is a few years off then perhaps a get together at a pub/club would suffice.

[Odette]

An engagement party serves two purposes.

1) It is held to introduce your two families if they haven't formally met before. This is a time for your parents and siblings to get to know each other before the wedding and congratulate you on your engagement. It is NOT an elaborate party thrown with a bunch of friends. The bride's mother traditionally arranges for the groom's family to come over or meet at a certain location, but these days the couple can arrange for their families to meet. This would occur shortly after the engagement has been made 'official'. This is only necessary if the families live a fair distance apart or don't have a prior relationship.

2) The couple have kept their engagement secret from the world. They host a dinner or cocktail party for close friends and family (only those who they would invite to the actual wedding). During the party, they (or, traditionally, the bride's father) announce their engagement. The announcement is a surprise for all involved. NEVER use another person's party as a platform for announcing your engagement. That steals the show and it is rude, rude, rude.

Gifts are not expected at either occasion.

So, unless your families live in different towns and haven't met, or unless you've kept your engagement secret and want to announce it to your friends and family in person at the same time, you don't even need an engagement party. Spend what money and resources you would have put into the party on the wedding instead. If you want a pretty way to tell friends and family about your engagement, get an announcement done up either in the newspaper or on a photo card that you can mail out. Make sure you've told family about the engagement before you put it in the paper or on Facebook. Aunt Ethel wants to hear it from you, not someone who saw it on a social networking site. I know that sounds petty, but etiquette prevails in this instance.

If friends or coworkers want to take you out for dinner or drinks to congratulate you, let them, but you do not host your own engagement party unless you're going with option #2.

[Sailor Mercury]

It used to be a little party to announce the engagement of a couple and no gifts were given during these parties. Light appetizers and cocktails were served, and only the very rich held such announcements for their friends and families.

An engagement party nowadays is usually a "getting to know you" type deal that the couple throws so their parents can meet, or it's thrown by someone else, like a friend. No gifts are given, still, and if something is brought, it's usually wine and cheese or that sort of thing. Many brides will take this opportunity to announce their bridesmaids, too.

It is not customary to throw yourself an engagement party and is looked upon as a gift grab when it's not that at all. If you want one, have one within the next month. Any longer than that, and it will look silly. Congrats on your engagement

[riversconfluence]

Rivers would, even if it is just the immediate families, for a Sunday BBQ. Or a brunch. It is just a fun idea to get together and be happy. You do not have to have gift giving, tell people no to that. Some people will have cards to give you, and that might be acceptible for you.
This is the time some relatives may take to hand down heirlooms, give a wedding present early like money that will be available for the wedding, give potential keepsakes like picture frames or cake cutting sets or toasting glasses.

The engagement parties are done differently depending where you are. Here, it is not so much about friends or co-workers, it is mostly about family.
If one is wealthy, then they can expect to be invited to one.

By etiquette, the bride's family gives the first party, and if they decline, then the groom's family gets a shot at it.
Anyone can give an engagement party that cares to..

Congrats!

[glitter girlie]

um you don't decide whether to have an engagement party or not.
if someone throws you an engagement party you get one.
if no one throws you one you don't get one.