How do I confront him about him planning to cheat on me in two days?

[Janie Campbell]

My boyfriend was acting expecailly rude the last week so I check his facebook and hes been planning to camping with this chick on thursday and even tells her hes gonna "spoil her ", I want to confront him about it of course but I snooped so im kinda in the wrong too. Weve been together almost 3 years so this is difficult for me. Any help is apreciated.

[moxiemisbehaving]

I would print out what you saw, put it in front of him and ask him to explain.

[rachel b]

Break up with his sorry ass. You're allowing him to do this?!

[tro]

looks like you can't read the 'handwriting on the wall'
looks like 3 yrs is getting old for him and he needs new challenges
move on

[Greg F]

This is a difficult one, and you can see why. You can't gloss over the flagrant violation of trust you've committed against him. You are indeed "in the the wrong" (and not just "kinda"), for having read his personal correspondences. Settle into that thought a bit before you continue. This is a serious violation, which in my opinion is as bad as the one you suspect him of.

Next, consider this: is he actually planning to cheat? Is there another explanation? "Spoil her" sounds pretty generic—maybe he's going to bake her a cake. Has he lied to you about this? Because if not, I'm not seeing that he's violated your trust, from what you've described. Maybe there are details missing, but maybe you're reading too much into the situation, and there's no cheating or deception on his side at all. If there's an explanation that fits what you know, and paints him in a good light, and another one that paints him bad, I suggest you choose the good one.

Regardless, I wouldn't bring that Facebook thing up with him. You shouldn't have done it, and it puts you in the defensive position to bring evidence you got that way. Shape up your trust of him and stop violating his privacy, and do your best to forget what you found out when you did. To answer your subject question, I wouldn't confront him at all, because you have no evidence you can show him, and even the evidence you *can't* show him (from Facebook) isn't conclusive.

Then, go back through *proper* channels and find out what's going on with him. Ask him what's going on. Ask him if he's happy with your relationship. Tell him how you felt about the specific things he's said to you recently. Maybe the situation will smooth itself out if you just communicate. Maybe he'll bake you a cake, too.

Above all, cultivate trust.