Should I contact my birth brother when I DON'T want contact with my birth mother?

[Nuclear Wessels]

I will never want anything to do with my birth mother, ever. She contacted me through my younger bio brothers facebook today. My first reaction was to ignore his existence because I was angry at all of them, even him. I know he didn't do anything wrong but I can't help it.

Now, thinking about it, I think I'd like to contact him. I'm not sure. I'm afraid contacting him will re-open what I've hopefully settled with my birth mother.

What would you do?

[Nicole]

Contact him, if u end up talkin' to your birth mum then u might be able to work things out, but if u insist u could ask him to keep it just between u guys

[Nicole]

it'll be difficult to have contact with one and not the other. in your other question you say you want NOTHING to do with her, so for now i would say to just not have anything to do with either of them.

[Laura B]

If your bio brother is close with your bio mother, it may be harder to have a relationship with him that is completely void of any reference to her. This doesn't mean it's impossible though. If you just want to tell him that you wish him no ill will and then move on, you can do that even if they are joined at the hip. If you have a genuine interest in some sort of continuing relationship, preface your initial outreach to him with essentially what you said here. You are interested in knowing him because you share blood and are both victims of circumstance but you'd prefer to stay away from your bio mom. You don't need to give a ton of details.

[Pip]

Contact him and be honest with him. I am responding simply responding on the information you have given.

[cathrl69]

To a certain extent it's going to depend on how old he is. Perfectly reasonable thing to do if he is an adult with his own independent life. Probably not very fair on him if, for instance, he is only 14.