How many mothers regret putting their baby up for adoption?

[Marisa]

if you have sources that would be great.

[TTC #2]

i know my mother didn't WANT to adopt out my eldest (half) sister. But she was only 17, unmarried, and it was 1965, she didn't have a choice.

[minimouse68]

http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/senateinquiry/

As I think you will see from the above link, MOST mothers regret relinquishing or being forced to relinquish their children to adoption. I know that my natural mother was destroyed by losing her firstborn child. Every now and then on here you see a woman post that shes happy/proud of her decision to relinquish........its also usually very evident that these women are very young.........I have to wonder how theyre going to feel a decade or so down the track.

The senate inquiry into forced adoption is happening here in Australia. If you go to the inquiry's webpage you will see literally thousands of submissions from natual mothers and adoptees who were seperated at birth by horrendous and cruel social and legal policy.

[dawn]

check out adopting.org
adoption is one of the most selfless acts a person can do if they are unable to care for a biological child. I am sure that regret is a feeling that may come up at times, but the decision needs to be based on the needs of the child, not on the needs of the mother. That shows a good mother, making sacrifices.

[Pip]

I don't know of any 'official' sources but through going on adoption related forums and Facebook I know that many do. I am also a mother who was blatantly bullied and lied into surrendering so no I didn't give my son up as I believed I had no choice due to the lies I was told.

[Mat]

The vast majority do from what I have talked to and read. Not necessarily because they feel it was the "wrong" decision, although sometimes they end up feeling that way; often however they just regret not being able to have their part in their child's life and they regret being unable to find a way to make it work.

To judge their decision is just hurtful to them and at times misleading. To them it isn't really a decision and they do not feel selfless nor brave for doing it and any reassurance of it being a brave decision is offensive. This is just the common reaction to the ones I have talked to.

[snowwillow20]

I do.

In reunion since 2001

[Chloe]

i put my first born baby girl up for adoption when i was 23 since the father left me and i would have nowhere to live by the time she was born.
a married couple who knows my family adopted her and has given her the best life. one that i could only dream of.
but do i regret it? yes and no. No because she is being taken care of and doesnt have to live a hard life. and yes because we all signed open adoption papers and they only kept in contact with me for a few months. I got to see her once when she was a few months old.
they moved a few years, after i also moved and they never kept contact. i only know how she is doing and what she looks like when my family chooses to share stories and pictures of her (since her adoptive family keeps contact with some of my family members) my family is very against me trying to contact her adoptive family for some reason. so on that level, yes i regret not being able to see her but no for giving her a good life

[Nicole]

I have put up 2 sons. For adoption and get this I'm 21 already have 2 kids at home with me ( my first 2 ) and just found out I'm pregnant with my 5th and already lining up the adoption and in a way I regret it in a way I don't , I STILL LIVE WITH MY HUSBANDS MOTHER and got 3 yrs of school left ...no jobs just public aid is my source of income .....its hurts but I feel I can't be that selfish and keep this little guy when I can't afford anything for him and he can have such a good life with finacially set and loving parents . P.S a semi open adotion always makes it easier on the birth mom .....the first 2 are with the same adoptive parents ...but I got pregnant on the I.u.d with this pregnancy WHICH IS B.S but well I'm just speechless on that 1 . Don't get me wrong I'm scared in my old. Age I might have a mental break down but I'm hoping it doesent .

[J]

The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. I tried for 5 years to make it work when deep down I knew I couldn't. Poor kid! What I put him through!