I was adopted and just found my birth mother on facebook. How should I start my first email to her?

[stillwatergirl]

My birth mother was pregnant at 18 by a highschool sweetheart, she came to Mn to live with relatives during the pregnancy, gave me up for adoption and returned home to her nearby state. possibly nobody knows anything. I am 40 yrs old and have been looking a long time for her. But now I don't know how to approach her . . .i know she's divorced and has a daughter 27 (who'd be my sister) . Any suggestions on what to say first?

[LeAnn M]

If it were me I would prepare myself for anything (if that is even possible) and I would email her. Its private yet personal enough. I feel you have the right to know her, talk to her. etc. Bless you and I hope things turn out the way you want them to.

[psylent]

well start off by making certain its the right woman, if you are sure then proceed to tell her a little bit about yourself, not too much, then ask her a bit about herself and finish by saying that you hope they can keep in touch, if she replies and is interested then tell her alllll about you! tell her everything! tell her every little tiny thing you can think of even that time you scraped your knee in kindergarten. She will love it.

She may, on the other hand, have moved on, and have no interest in your life which is why the first brief email wont overwhelm her but 'suss' her out if you know what i mean.

good luck!

[Nada]

first congratulations , second i suggest that adding her and starting a normal conversation would be fine and tell her about your self and that you are adopted and that your mother was pregnant at 18 by a highschool sweetheart and her name let her realize that you are her daughter and then tell her how you feel and that you want to see her , good luck =>

[Milton]

If you can contact her by private message please do so, not on the open page of Facebook where she may not want everyone to know her business.

Keep it simple and straightforward -- that you have been searching for her for many years, that you do not mean to intrude into her life and that you would love to meet her if she is willing. See if she responds. If so, it may be a wonderful experience for both of you who have lived separate lives.

If you mother is willing to meet, aside from the wonderful or powerful emotional consequences, do make sure you ask for any medical Information that could affect your life or health.

Best of luck to you and remember, your life is already blessed with parents who loved and cared for you all their lives.

[michelle r]

just be direct and make it simple:

dear mrs. (fill in the blank),

my name is (....). i believe you may be my birth mother. i was at (adoption ctr/org.). i was born on (birthdate) in (city/state) at (hospital).

i know that you may not want to open up this part of your past for whatever reasons. if you dont, then i will accept that and leave you alone & continue your secret. but if you are interested in getting to know me, please email me back with any questions you may have.