How to get past my fear of transitioning?

[Mastercave873]

Okay, so I'm a 14 year old genetic male. I know I'm a woman that was born transsexual, and I have my estrogen ordered. I have seen a therapist, and my parents are very supportive of my transition, so long as I am happy with the changes I will endure. I'm so happy I'm actually going through with this!!

My real only fear is that my friends will abandon me and I'll be the outcast at my school. Is there any way I can get over this fear? I know I must go through with this to correct the mistake my Y chromosome is, and I want to sooo badly. So my questions are:

1. What changes will happen to me(in general)? I know YMMV.

2. How will my personality change(if any)?

3. In general, how long will it take for me to look natural as a woman? I'm 6'2", 171.5 lbs., and already shave my face.

4. How can I come out to my friends? I don't really want to be that reject alone in the
corner....

5. How do I get over my fear of being that reject?

My hormones should arrive pretty soon, so answers would be appreciated. I know I need to change my username, eventually real name, facebook, twitter, etc. I am not a troll, for those of you that think I am. Any help is appreciated, any judgement is not. Thanks!

-Ben, just another transsexual woman

[thankfulbirthday856]

speak to your family and a therapist about it,preferably a gender therpaist
if you do get rejected, just go to another school


1. changes:
you will get breast development
your skin will soften
your moods will change
your sperm count will decrease
you will get fat redistribution creating a softer rounder appearance
it will stop (but not reverse) beard growth
at your age it may stunt your growth
your penis wil shrink in size
your sex drive will decrease

2 you will be less depressed and more relaxed

3. It varies by person

4you take them aside and tell them, call them up on the phone, send an email

5 speak to family and a therapist for support

[Tim]

DO NOT tell your friends. I think you should wait till you are 18 to fully become a woman, because you are in high school now you will get made fun of A LOT. I know because a girl I used to know wanted to become a guy while I was in highschool. After she made the change she had a terrible time. Wait until you are legal to change

[Profoundpen193]

1. What changes will happen to me(in general)? I know YMMV.

Your doctor/endocrinologist will explain this to you. Essentially, your male puberty will stop and in some regards reverse itself, and you will start going through a female puberty. You will experience the same changes you've seen the girls in your school go through over the last 2-3 years... breast growth, softer, smoother skin, increased fat and changes in where it's stored (butt, hips, thighs, parts of your face.) If your voice has changed, hormones will not affect it, but if it hasn't, they should prevent any further change. You should see a reduction of any body hair you may have. You may find you gain weight easier. You may notice changes in the thickness and texture of your hair. Your skin should become less oily. You should experience a dramatic drop in libido. Spontaneous erections will diminish or stop altogether. You may not be able to achieve an erection after some time, nor will you produce any ejaculate.


2. How will my personality change(if any)?

You will probably experience a sense of calmness, and feel less aggressive. You'll probably also find your emotions are closer to the surface, and you may have a tendency to cry easier. You may find certain interests to be less appealing, while others become more appealing. This is highly variable, and is not only due to hormones, but also the social changes you'll experience as you "switch teams" so to speak. You won't change WHO you are. Your fundamental personality will be the same.

3. In general, how long will it take for me to look natural as a woman? I'm 6'2", 171.5 lbs., and already shave my face.

A lot depends on your lifestyle. You sound like a pretty normal weight for a 14 year old of your height. You should lose weight initially as your muscles diminish, but this can take years unless you combine it with a judicious diet and exercise program. Most of the basic changes will happen within the first 6-12 months... softer, smoother skin, fat shifting away from your chin and jaw and moving towards your cheeks. Breast growth and fat deposits on the body take longer - 2 to 3 years or more. At your age, hormones usually have a pretty dramatic effect, and if you dress neutral, you'll probably start getting "ma'am'd" or "miss'd" by strangers sometime in that 6-12 month period. If you have long hair, that will help. Your ability to blend in as a female is not based solely on your appearance. Your voice, your mannerisms, your attitude, all combine with your appearance to single "female" to people around you. The more effort you make to emulate the females around you, the sooner you will be seen as one. Spending time around born females can be invaluable.

4. How can I come out to my friends? I don't really want to be that reject alone in the
corner....
There are no guarantees here. The reality is, you may lose some friends. You may not. People may make comments or be insulting, or they may be extremely kind and supportive. A lot has to do with you, the type of person you are, and where you live. Some parts of the country are more progressive, while others are downright bigoted. Hopefully you live in an more enlightened part. You should consider writing a "coming out" letter to give to your closer friends, and explain to them what they can say if people ask about you. You're almost certainly going to be a topic of gossip and conversation initially, especially if you're the only kid in your school Transitioning. I won't lie... it can be very hard, but the rewards that come with transitioning early are priceless, and will be well worth it when you're older and have forgotten all about the petty nonsense of high-school.

5. How do I get over my fear of being that reject?
Learn about your CONDITION, and be prepared to explain it to others. People reject what they fear, and they fear what they don't understand. If you can make people understand that you are simply a girl who was born with the wrong anatomy, they should be able to empathize with your situation, and they'll have no reason to treat you like a reject. You are suffering from a PHYSICAL BIRTH CONDITION. It's no different from someone who was born with a cleft palate, or an extra finger. Those people have their conditions corrected, and you will have yours corrected. That's really all people need to understand.

Ultimately, you know this is something you MUST do, so while it's normal to feel fear, you have no choice if you want to live a happy life, so just keep reminding yourself no matter how hard it gets, or how scared you are, or how many tough days you have, there is a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, and everything you're going through will be worth it when you get to live as the person you know you really are.

Good luck sister!