What do you say to someone who's mother died last night in hospital?

[Sally Cat]

I am writing to a classmate through facebook to tell her how sorry I am for her loss, but I feel that's not good enough. I want to say more. I'm bad when it comes to forming words with something like this. Everyone is posting on her facebook, saying how sorry they are. I want to say more than that though. What can I say to make her feel a little better?

[Chelsea H]

Sometimes, it's not the content of what you say, it's HOW you say it.

So first and foremost, don't put it on her Facebook. Send her a heartfelt sympathy card or letter...

I think it's so cavalier when people post sympathies on Facebook. Do it the old fashioned way, and she'll know how much you mean it!

[Livvi]

I would probably wait until you see her and give her a hug and tell her you are sorry. there really is no perfect staement, just speak from your heart. Facebook is impersonal. Call her, maybe she needs a friend to be with right now. It's nice that you care

[p550rs]

You don't even have to say much if you meet her... Much better than facebook or text msg and really shows that you care. Acts can be much more powerful than written words

[Mars Mission.]

I seriously don't know there are no magic answers to

bring their mother back, just attend and perhaps a

couple of hugs may help show you care ?

Best Wishes.

Mars Mission.

14th Year Psychology / Counseling Student.

4th Year Hypnotism Student.

4th Year Music Composition Student.

32 Years Qualified Automotive Technician.

And Part Time Human Being.

Dog & Cat Lover.

Hardened Teddy Bear Addict.

[Sumanitu Taka]

You cannot impose anything either written or spoken that can relieve the pain she she must go through in order to come to terms with the death of her mom. If anything, offer her your support, your empathy from the heart.
I found a quote that you might use....

"Death is the starlit strip between the companionship of yesterday and the reunion of tomorrow."

[Emly]

Tell her in person or call her. Let her know that you're there for her. Let her know (if you've also experienced a loss) that you know how it hurts and is heartbreaking, but you believe she can make it through it. Her mother would want her to be happy.

Just tell her that she has many people who are there for her and if she needs anyone to talk to, you'd be willing to lend an ear.

[naps with cats]

In all honesty, you can just go to visit her, give her a hug and sit with her, lean against her with your friendship arm around her. If she wants to talk, she will, and you can help so much by just repeating back what she said so she knows you understand.

Like if she does start talking (she may not, may just cry and you can just be a loving shoulder for her), but if she talks and says something, for instance, like,

"I don't know how I'm going to go on, I can't imagine life without my mother, what am I going to do?"

You can reply something like "So it sounds like you're feeling very helpless right now, especially without your mom here. What you are going to do is go through the grieving process, no matter how long it takes, and then slowly, but slowly - without ever forgetting your mom, life will make a little bit of sense again. Over time, it will make more sense and you will go on. I will help you in any way I can, you just give me the word and I am here for you, my friend! Are you okay with that?"

[Danette]

There is nothing anyone can say that would make her feel better. Send her your sympathy, and let her know you are there if she needs anything. Be sure to check back with her - ask how she's doing - for a few months or more, especially on Mother's Day and mom's birthday. Loss that deep sometimes doesn't really sink in for a while, and it lasts a long, long time. It's been 3 years since my mom died, and i just stopped crying every time i think about her, but I still miss her.

[nightmusic]

I think the safe thing is just to say 'I'm so sorry.' What else can you say? That you understand how she feels? You don't. That you remember things about her mother? It's too soon for that. She's still dealing with the first shock and grief. I think the less you say, while still giving support, the better it will be.