How do you find a sister that has been adopted?

[Kelli H]

We just found out that my boyfriend my have a sister that was given up for adoption. We have no information on his possible sister because his mother pasted away in 1992. Any good tips??

[durdenslabs]

If you believe she was given up for adoption in the state that your brother was born in you can contact that state. He can also go online and post as much information as he can about his mother, his father (if they had the same dad), her possible birthday, and anything else he can think of. There are adoption reunion sites that will let you post this info for free or they'll send you paperwork and look for her then call if they have a possible match.

Good Luck!

[Robin]

Begin by writing down all the information you have. How did this information come to him? Ask whomever told him for as much information as he/she can remember.

Has he talked to his aunts, uncles, cousins? His mom's best girl friend? An old boyfriend that she may have stayed in touch with on & off? Does he know what high school and/or college she attended? If so, sign her up on classmates.com. Look for her best friend in high school or college. Include a message looking for contacts on classmates' message boards.

Once you have some information, include his mom's info (birth date, birth place, the hospital or city & state where the child was born, the agency that handled the adoption, such as the 'county department of social services'. Include all information about his mother that you have (age, birth place, ethnicity, etc.) on the International Soundex Reunion Registry at http://www.isrr.net/

If he discovers the agency that handled the adoption, write to that agency (he may need proof of mom's passing) to request "non identifying information" about his sister, if available. At the same time, she can leave authorization to release her information should her birth mom or other bio-relative wish to contact her.

Many states also have reunion registries. Google "adoption reunion + your state" & look for a website with yourstate.gov

Check this site for information on searching by state:
http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?...

A search guide for adoptees:
http://prairieguy.wordpress.com/2007/07/...

For additional search help, ideas & support:
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/
http://www.adultadoptees.org/
http://www.bastards.org/library/search.h...
http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/l...

Keep a journal or log of all information you've requested and the responses received. This serves as a road map of where you've searched and what your next step might be.

Utilize web sites like classmates.com, facebook & myspace when you find names, ages & other information that help narrow down where you're looking & who you're looking for.

If you can, find a support group on line or near you. Their help, encouragement, ideas & tips are very valuable.

If she was born in any of the following states, she'll be able to get a copy of her original birth certificate upon request: Alabama, Alaska, Delaware, Kansas, New Hampshire, Oregon & Tennessee

If she was born in Canada, google for information by province. For example, in Quebec, to get a copy of a birth certificate
http://www.etatcivil.gouv.qc.ca/en/certi...

For information about adoption in Quebec
http://www.adoption.gouv.qc.ca/site/home...

For Canada's adoption registry:
http://www.generations.on.ca/adoption.ht...

[Heather B]

Not without the birth date, sorry

You may be able to get some information from the State if the State the sister was born in runs a sibling registry. They would want to know a date of birth also though, in order to make a match with their records.

Perhaps some relative surviving bf's mother has more information. He needs to ask and do some more investigation if he's going to be successful finding his sister.

This is why reunion registries don't always work. She may be sitting there on a registry waiting for a match with her mother and Mom can't register because she's deceased. These legislators of secret sealed records need to understand that registries are not helpful to people who want to know their origins. Unfettered access to one's own birth record is the only acceptable way to go, because every person deserves to know the truth of how they came into the world.

Best of luck