Should I contact some distant relatives on Facebook?

[Chris]

I found some distant cousins (second cousins once removed, third cousins) on FB. Should I contact them? I reunited with some long lost 1st & 2nd Cousins through the internet recently, and we met and got along and it worked out very well. I want to know more of my family, but is this too far a relation? Thanks.
Chris

[Jeremy Roberts]

why not

[Lisa A]

It isn't too distant of a relationship for you to contact someone at all. In genealogy, no relationship is too distant! But realize that people on face book (mostly teenagers) are not people who tend to be interested in genealogy (mostly old people). You might want to pass along your phone number if anyone talks to you on facebook and ask to talk to their parents or grandparents if your facebook friend isn't interested in genealogy, but is still polite enough to respond to you.

I have met many distant cousins on line, but never on face book. I'm not on face book.

[Jamal M]

I would be pretty delighted if distant relatives contacted me via facebook. But I'm someone who is interested in ancestry and genealogy. I don't think most people would be too off-put by it (unless you are contacting 19th counsins, in which case you might as well just send out a message to everyone) but some people might think it is weird and just ignore you, especially younger and less mature people or less family oriented people. I think most people would be responsive, however, and probably positive overall.

[Shelva]

Hi Chris,

In answer to your question, personally I don't think relatives are ever too far a relation to want to find and communication with them. Especially when it comes to doing genealogy. For example about a year ago I found a 3rd cousin out in AZ. come to find out her Great-Grandfather was my great- grandmother's brother. How awesome is that? We got to share pictures we never would have had of our great grandparents or uncles and aunts or cousins had I not sent her an e-mail. Though I have never gotten to meet her in person we do chat online and e-mail nearly every day and have become the best of friends.

Believe me, if someone doesn't want to share in the family tree research they'll let you know.

Cuzin Shelva

[Joyce B]

Look here for help. I have found long lost cousins through my tree on ancestry.com. Most do not have the same surname, so I probably would not have found them by just looking up my last name on Facebook.

Good luck and have fun.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5424954_relatives-facebook.html

[lohr_gen]

I've done it, but I would never just send a FB friend invite. Consider sending either a FB message explaining the reason you are contacting them and that you would like to be their FB friend, or include a brief note along with the FB friend request (depending on their privacy settings, one or both scenarios may exist).

I also make these distant cousins aware that I am not interested in *getting* their personal information, as much as I'm interested in *giving* them information. Let them know that you have much info and would love to share it with them. As genealogists, we are usually seeking to go back in time and find info about their grandparents or great grandparents, and don't want theirs or their childrens' info. Let them know that!

Another thing that I've done is establish groups on FB for specific surnames, if one does not already exist. I will include an offer for distant cousins to join the group, rather than becoming a "friend". This allows them the opportunity to participate without sharing too much of their private life if they wish, and they are generally receptive to this. The caveat is to post new info you've uncovered it to keep your cousins interested and involved.

Given identity theft, people are rightfully scared of handing out too much information. But even more importantly, as genealogists we nearly always have information about living individuals. You should *NEVER* share information about living individuals unless you have that specific individual's permission to do so. You obviously have information about these people already, because you know that you're related to them. Make them aware of the way you share your info, specifically that you never share any information about living individuals with any one.

So make your distant cousins feel at ease with the reason why you are sending them a friend request, reassure them that you are looking to share far more info than you want to know, promise them you will never share their information with anybody, and you should have much luck with FB and your distant relatives. Best of luck!