How close are you to your sister/brother?

[Katie Kk]

When I was a kid my sister ran away from home. Now I haven't talked to her in about 15 years but we recently started talking on facebook. My question is if you had a little sister about 5 years younger and your parents were heavy drinkers, and a bit irresponsible, would you leave her to save your own ass? She told me she had to get herself safe, but felt bad for leaving me. So would you do that to your sibling?

[Jasmine Saing]

Im not really that close to my brother but we talk and stuff , and if my parents are heavy drinkers i would take my brother with me hes like 6's years yunger then me so yah

[nellieh]

Unless she was over 18 and financially able to take care of a sibling, she had no choice but to take herself out of the situation. Not to mention the fact that everyone has to make their own decisions, and an intolerable situation for her may not have been intolerable for you. Parents treat each kid differently in a family, and each person has his/her own tolerance level for problems. I would not begrudge her at all for taking care of herself. She obviously feels guilt about it- but it was unavoidable and will only add to family problems.
(I have a friend who was put up for adoption, while the family kept her older sister and her younger brother! How'z that for feeling left out or bad?? However, she doesn't begrudge the siblings, as it wasn't their decision. They are happy to reunite as adults)

[wittypickle951]

I don't know, but if she ran away it sounds like she should have taken you with her. It's good that you're talking though. Well, as for how close I am with my brothers and sisters, I have a lot of siblings, I'm one of six. I'm cool with most of them, except for my younger brother- let's just say we don't get along, and I regret that but there's not much I can do about it. I'm very close with my twin sister. We're not identical, and there was a period of a year or two when we hated her, but now there's nobody I'm closer to. And you know, maybe she couldn't take you with her, when she left. And..its better late than never. I would suggest trying to be friends with your sister again. She's trying to make it up to you, and I understand it will take a long time to forgive her, but don't make a long time mean never.

[Jacqueline]

sorry to hear of your situation. i grew up in a similar household. although many times i thought of leaving, i stayed. during that time my sisters and brothers ( we are five) were very close, but now that we grew up it seems we've grown apart, don't take to heart that she left, just like you, she didn't know how to deal with the situation. no one knows how too. know for sure she never stopped thinking of you especially since she apologized for it. be proud of yourself for dealing with that drama, and making it out of there with a sane mind.don't let the past ruin a bond.

[Maddie C.]

Well...that's a tough one. First, some background:
I love my brother. I really do. He's 3 years younger than me and the first and only time I had a dream about him getting hurt/dying I woke up in tears and cried and cried. The concept terrified me. However...
We are ALWAYS fighting. I mean when we're not sleeping, if there's communication, there's conflict. But I love him all the same. Now, on to your question.
Would I leave my brother to protect myself? Yes and no. Yes, I would leave. No, not him. I would take him with me to the nearest safe home (family, friend) and stay there. Fortunately, I don't have reason to fear for this, for my parents are light on the alcohol and no drugs. So, no, I would not have made the decision your sister did. And I'm sorry this happened to you. Sincerely. And I'm sure she is too. But, we all have our crosses to bear and our choices to make. I hope you see your sister again. And I hope the rest of your life treats you better than most of it has.

~I'm sorry.

[LS]

I'm close to one sibling and on decent terms with the others.

It doesn't matter what I think I would have done. I might have. Maybe I kind of did. I left 2 siblings behind when I moved out, but one was already running away from home all the time, and the other was treated better than any of the rest of were (go figure).

She couldn't help anyone if she wasn't safe herself, and taking you might have been legally impossible and may have put you in more danger than you were in with your parents. She may have been more messed up by them and unable to think of a way to take you with her. Remember, she was very young too, and taking on a child is a lot of responsibility.

You survived it. So... just look at the chance that you two have now, to redefine your relationship. Do you want a sister in your life? Do you want to get closer to her (and, by doing that, maybe thumb your noses at your parents for screwing up so badly)?

Forgive, and move forward.