How can I ask my daughter for her account passwords without making her mad?

[Cassadee]

I want to see what she posts on Tumbler, Facebook, and Twitters. I want to ask her for her passwords but she says it's her privacy, so she must be hiding something. She is almost 15.

[Fred Fredburger]

No teenage girl wants their mother to see what they post on tumblr or twitter. Maybe facebook, but still. She probably won't give you her passwords. Most likely, she's expressing all of her feelings, and she isn't comfortable with you reading them. It IS her privacy.

[okiramrolyat]

She isn't hiding, it's just her privacy. It's her get away. Stop trying to get her passwords. You seem crazy and like you don't trust her. Most teenagers won't give you their password just because you want to see everything. Why don't you try adding her on Facebook, Follow her on Tumblr and Twitter. And it's spelled Tumblr, not tumbler.

[Chidera Ezenekwe]

If you ask her for the passwords I doubt she won't get mad. You could just make your own and you would get alerts when she posts anything, especially Facebook. Also just because she wants privacy doesn't mean she's hiding something.

[milk tea]

She is going to be mad no matter how you ask her. Snooping isn't the best way to find things out, though. If it was meant for your to find things out about your daughter than you suspect of her, then those things will arise on their own because God is on your side.

[Courage]

Tell her that since she will not give you her passwords that you need to make sure she's not doing anything dangerous on the computer, so from now on the computer must stay in the room where you're at and she cannot take it in a room by herself. If you really suspect something going on, then get a parental software that takes screen captures so you can see. Passwords would have made it easier for you and her, but you don't need to stand there begging. You can make rules such as "you can only use the computer with one of your parents in the room" "no more tweets unless I can see them" etc, and you can get parental controls.

You also need to make sure she knows what you consider inappropriate to post. For instance, she can rant about you. She can call you all sorts of names. These are things that are normal and you don't really want to punish over. Punish for things that are dangerous, such as finding out that she's talking to some guy about meeting up to have some physical contact. Or skipping school. Or using drugs. Things that actually can and would hurt her. If you have rules against porn, then make them clear. If you have rules about things like tattoos, piercing, cutting, suicide, etc, then make it clear. If you have rules about dating and include cyberdating in those rules, then spell it out for her. If you haven't laid out on the table what's appropriate and inappropriate for her to post then you can't expect her to follow those rules.

But don't flip out when she's calling you all sorts of names online. She's a teen. It's what they do. It's sort of like how you knew your 2 year old would say "I hate you" and you had to let it roll off your back. Same thing. She's allowed to call you all sorts of names in private conversations.

[chubbyvest966]

No matter what she'll know what you are doing and it will just piss her off even more if she knows your trying to swindle her lol

[Sam Hills]

Stop being suspicious of your teenagers! That's why we push away - because you always expect we are up to no good! That will never go down well no matter how you do it so why not just make a Facebook account of your own and friend her.

[DIANE]

It doesn't mean she is hiding anything. I wasn't, I just don't like people butting into my business. Privacy is privacy, there is a reason something is private. Just because someone says it's private doesn't mean they are doing anything "bad". Respect her privacy, or she'll grow up not trusting you.

[elaeblue]

I can understand where shes coming from but I also understand your concern.

Tell her to pass over the passwords or you will ground her from the computer til she does.