How to get your confidence back after not getting the job of your dreams?

[Longwaytogo]

I was laid off a year ago and I used the money from the severance package they gave me to pay off my debt. I was sad to lose my job because I loved it and was there for 5 years. In the meantime, I found a decent job working from home for a social media company. I don't like it but it pays the bill. 2 months ago, 2 headhunters contacted me for prestigious jobs. One was for a videogame company and the other for a popular website that's launching a new edition. When I didn't get the videogame job, I was sad but relieved when I found out the company had a bad reputation for mistreating employees. However, the website job was the job of my dreams and it seemed like it was meant to be. I went through 4 interviews and in the end, they picked someone who had thousands of twitter fans. I'm having a hard time because they picked a friend of mine. It hurts to hear about how the team is getting ready to launch and how exciting it is. I'm happy for my friend but this makes me resent my current job even more and I feel like I'm not good enough. I'm currently working on my blog and online portfolio to make myself more marketable, but my self-confidence is low. I haven't found an interesting job posting yet. My bf told me it wasn't meant to be and to be patient. It's hard to do because I feel like I missed out on a big opportunity. I'm 28 and I feel like I failed. What can I do to find my motivation again? I don't want to wallow in self-pity.

[A Hunch]

As you found out with the first job of your dreams (the videogame comp), it wasn't really the "job of your dreams".

I've been disappointed like you with how things have played out but ultimately I've found I'm better off without it = just like your bf says.

[Steve D]

Look at it from a different perspective - with 4 interviews, it came down to 2 people, so you were better than the dozens (or more) who submitted resumes. You also learned (or enhanced what you knew) more about how to make yourself marketable. Now, look at your current job and ask yourself, what can I do here to make myself even more marketable - even though you may not like it, you are (or should be) learning valuable skills. Take what you are learning and make yourself a brand - blog (as you are), tweet, facebook, pinterest (those are all verbs from now on - then, as you add content to all this, start looking for followers. You don't say what your blog is about, but build it into your followers - always tweet (and use hashtags) when you update your blog, look for groups on LinkedIn that connect with what you want (and participate, don't flood, don't sell, just answer questions when you can - make yourself "the expert" without tooting your own horn). Tie all this stuff together and if you really do it well, you should be looking at offers in months.

No self-pit, just self-action