What should be included in an Armageddon emergency preparedness kit?

[danman]

1. Plenty of toilet paper. Since Scott and Charmin will no longer be producing.
2. Razor blades. Schick is gone too.
3. Batteries. EverReady (no pun intended) bunny will never be hoping along anymore.
4. Water. All utilities will be silent until Jehovah miraculously turns the pumps back on.
5. Hand tools. No power no saws, drills. Most jw janitors will have to brush up on carpentry books so..
6. Bring along this book How to Build Your Way Out of Total Desolation in six easy lessons.
7. 12 pair of eyeglasses since 1 Hour Eyeglasses is gone forever.
8. At least 12 months of prescription drugs, just in case Jehovah did not spare the warehouses of Squibb & Co,

The above list approved by a unanimous vote of all us old codgers in Patterson New Jersey. Please do not write us, we are putting our kits together, time is short brothers!!!