How do you add people to your "family" list, without them knowing?

[We Still Believe]

Or will it tell them anyways?
Like I tried to do it, and it asked for my relation to that person.

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there is no way of doing that without them knowing. facebook will send them a notification saying ___________ (you) added you as his/her ___________ (brother, sister, father, mother, cousin, etc)
an example is: Bethany added you as her brother under family
thats how the notification shows up. if you dont want them to know, then dont do it. there is nothing you can do about that.. sorry! hope i helped though.