What can I confront my mom about lying?

[-ThreeBlindWolves.]

She was being all sneaky and so I looked on her messages and phone calls... It had this guy's number on it. She said she ate lunch with this lady, but I e-mailed her on facebook and said she hadn't seen my mom in close to a year. So I have proof, but how do I bring it up? And how do I control my emotions because I'm so upset at her.

Thanks!
Shoot*

I meant How* not what


she's been married for almost twenty years!

[Toborris]

Well i can understand yu being hurt abt her lying to yu bt be honest there's probly a gud reason she did so even tho it doesnt mke it rite, bt if she's nt in a relationship it shudnt be a big deal shes grown bt either way it goes jst tlk to her and let her knw strait up dnt yu be all sneaky snooping in her business bt pointn yur finger at her for being sneaky, yur her daughter and friend im pretty sure ull be helpn her out if yu come at her lke sumbdy

[Solomon Terra]

I think the best approach is honesty. You might want to preface it with an apology, something like, "Mom, I was being nosey and noticed some messages on your phone from this guy. I'm sorry for snooping and I know I had no right to, but I did and now I know about him. Are you cheating on dad?"

That takes a bit of courage, but certainly cuts through any b.s. she might want to fling up to protect herself with.

As for your emotions, try to think objectively. While it sounds likely that something untoward is going on, it might be something innocent, too. My own mother sometimes talked to some of her past boyfriends - as friends, purely innocent - but still didn't want my dad to know because it might have upset him. Acting sneaky raises suspicions even more, but it doesn't necessarily mean that something terrible is going on. So just try to face it with the notion that until you know for sure there's something to be upset about, maybe there isn't and so you should just try to dismiss those feelings - for the moment, at least.

The longer you hold off, the longer it will eat you up and make you miserable. So I'd recommend doing this as soon as you can.