I have a 7 year old boy who recently started asking about his real dad. How do i tell both him and my son?

[Andrea]

His father never knew i was pregnant. He lives in Florida and we live in Colorado so doing this over coffee won't work. So far all i have is a friend request sent on facebook to his dad to contact him. Please advise world

[ic]

NEVER LIE TO A CHILD

[Faith]

I wouldn't say anything at all until you speak to this man, talk to him, give him his space to take all this in and then talk to him again. Plus wait until your son can meet him in person, but the moment you tell him most likely your son will want to meet his father. Not meeting him for awhile may make your son feel unwanted and I'm sure you don't want that.

One this man takes it all in and agrees to meeting, plans are set in stone then tell your son.

[Bella]

First, always tell your child the truth, because in the coming future if they find out the truth themselves they will never be able to trust you. If you want your child to trust you, tell them.

Second, you need to tell his father, he has a right to know, it is his child as well. Put yourself in his shoes, won't you want to know if your partner was having your child? Obviously you would. Maybe you should call him and tell him that the situation is very important maybe he will understand, if he doesn't tell him straight up on the phone or something. But you have to tell him. For you sake. His sake and your child's sake. If you don't tell him this is going to be on your mind for the rest of your life...

Just tell him, and and your child the truth... It's for the best
Hope I helped...

Good Luck

[Cassy]

well first off i think you need to tell your child the truth about his real dad without making him look bad.

I think that it would be very unfair for your son to start off a relationship with his father on bad term.

whatever reason you have for not telling his father about your son need to be brought out into the open. Tell your son the reason for your decision.

As far as the father goes you need to Tell him the truth also. Regardless of how you feel and what your reason was for denying your child a father you need start being honest with both of them.

Oh.....and do not deny the test that the father will want done to make sure!

[Macie]

I dont know what you should tell him, I just feel like you shouldnt tell him anything until you find out if his father WANTS to meet him. If this guy is not willing to meet him then you need to discuss with your son that his father doesnt live close by so he cant meet him in person, show him a picture of his father and tell him that he didnt know that mommy was pregnant, and he recently found out about having a son and that we need to give him time before we talk to him. I mean this is a really tough situation, I dont even know how good my advice is but thats probably what I would do... There is no perfect answer in this situation, just make sure your son knows that he is wanted because if you tell him that daddy is not wanting to come see him he will feel unwanted and it will affect his confidence which you dont want to do. Just be gentle and loving with whatever you decide to tell him. Good Luck!

[anonymous]

Just be real with your son, and don't lie to him. Tell him the truth no matter how hard, just put it in his words so he will understand. I don't know the situation with his dad but that is the conversation you should be worried about and it certainly should not be done over FACE BOOK! Call the guy! He will likely be mad but when you show him a picture his attitude will change hopefully. You have created a problem for yourself here that could have a domino effect on both sides be careful. This guy could have a family of his own be married with kids and this kind of stuff can kill relationships. Please be respectful, and be prepared for the worst. If you have to you may have tell your son the worst, but don't lie. This is not his fault. Secrets are not good.

[jimrich]

Just be HONEST with your son. He can handle the TRUTH better that omissions or lies!