Looks like you win again, Anorexia. So upset with myself, I just missed a major event for this disorder.?

[Toto Mimo]

For over a year now I've been fighting the emotional and physical traumas of anorexia nervosa. I have a dietician, a clinical psychologist, a GP and other support, but being an adult man, I find it's very difficult to come to terms with.

I'm about 5'7"-5'8" (172.5cm) tall and I've now fallen below 99lb. This is probably the lowest I've ever been despite my family thinking I've actually gained weight (a phenomenon I hear is called the "anorexic bloat" where especially the face looks a touch puffy).

I have been hospitalised on and off over the course of three to four months whilst they determined my issues (I kinda was in denial) and as such, my employers were very lovely and forgiving with me, with colleagues visiting my hospital bed and HR accommodating a full phased return. None of them fully understood the real issue was this mental disorder, however.

The company itself has been hit very hard this past few months and layoffs have been rife, making me feel even more guilty for having been kept on without questioning my standing there. They recognised that it'd been traumatic for all of us, and as such, decided upon a big celebratory office Christmas party that would unite us all and raise all our spirits. Everyone was saying how incredibly excited they'd be to see me outwith the office after being away for so long and I was really anticipating how much fun I'd have.


After waiting weeks for this and talking with everyone about how great it was going to be, yesterday I returned home, got my clean, brand new ironed clothes ready to put on later, and inexplicably, freaked out at the thought of eating a meal and having drinks with everyone. I started withdrawing as I always do, adding potential calories up, and got very anxious, started crying, did 500 situps (pointlessly), and simply... avoided the party altogether (it'd be a critical break in my "routine", after all), all the while receiving texts from co-workers eagerly awaiting my return to form.

This morning I woke up to see how amazing a night everyone had on Facebook. I'm devastated at myself, I would've loved to have gone. This disorder is a demon; I avoided such an anticipated event at Christmas with people who genuinely wanted me there for something as ridiculous as a daily calorie and exercise regiment.

What do I do now? How can I talk to them? How do I break out of this? There's nothing as depressing as having this demonic presence looming over me at Christmas, my favourite time of the year. One of my messages was from perhaps my closest work acquaintance who said "we're going out for chinese buffet lunch today, maybe you could come to that instead". Clearly I would like to, I ironically adore food, but Chinese buffet to an anorexic is like taking someone suffering from vertigo up the Sear's tower...

[Rid]

I'm sorry that you missed out on your night out for this horrible illness.

What you need to do now though is not focus on what you have missed out on- that is over with now and you can't get it back- focus on how you will stop anorexia from taking anything else from you. Because although it's ridiculously hard, and doesn't always feel like it, you do have a choice in all this. There are things (very difficult things) you can do to get better.

If I were you I would force myself to that buffet. whilst I know it wuld be a huge challenge- the fact that it a buffet actually means you can choose your own portion size, you can pick 'safer' foods and you have a lot more control. And if that feels too much, go along for a drink. People will appreciate the effort you have gone to and will understand (even if you lie and say that you don't like spicy food)... they will appreciate your company and it will be good for you to see you can do it.

I know its difficult and I hope you don't think I'm trying to suggest otherwise... its just the only way to beat it is to put yourself through the scary things. There's no easy way- you have to just go through it.

Take care x

[Ushie]

First thing you need to do is face this monster. Anorexia is not as uncommon as you may think. 4 out of 10 people suffer from it to some degree.
Anorexia can arise from several different factors, young girls mimicking there idols brings increasing pressure to gain the ideal weight, a less than perfect family life often abuse within the family is thought to play a part in the onset of Anorexia. Genetic factors also seem to play a role with some documentation of anorexia being hereditary to some extent. Another reason thought to be a cause is depression, exam results as we all know can be daunting and at some time or other we have all lost our appetite a little when under pressure or worried.
It is a mental problem that is no joke.
3 out of 10 die from it within 20 years of its appearance if not treated.
But relax, most people do fully recover from it.
To begin with I read into your message your emotional condition. This is a very important key to combating this condition. No one likes looking into the mirror to see a skeleton staring back at them.
Now, I have successfully treated a number of people with anorexia. Lol, YES, they ALL recovered!
Even the most stubborn cases of people with anorexia are able to swallow. If not, they would die within days from dehydration.
So, start off with a light liquid diet. I recommend you put 1/2 of a supplement as ensure with water.
At 99 pounds any type of nourishment will stick to your bones. [ no pun intended]
Then, eventually, get yourself able to swallow a full container of ensure. [ there are similar products ]
Supplements as ensure have a pretty complete balance of nourishment.
Then try juicing things as carrots fruits, things like that.
Most victims of anorexia do not have a "gag" reflex. If you do, then you need to be fed intravenously.
Continue with the liquid diet. Eventually add eggs into your drink. [ don't worry about salmonella, you need protein.!]
As your weight increases so shall your emotional attitude.
4 ensures + 4 eggs gives you about 1,700 calories.
Do NOT be idle!
Get into a light exercise program. Working out with light weights is good since it will stimulate your body to replenish the lost calories while building up your attitude as you begin to notice muscles beginning to grow.
Continue on this program, while also receiving psychological treatment, and as you notice the pounds being gained and the growth of muscle you will likely want to increase your caloric intake by drinking more high calorie supplements.
When you see the bathroom scale go from 99 to say 115 pounds your brain will release endorphins, making you feel well.
Eventually, you will actually WANT to add solid food to your diet.
You will discover that you may find a particular food you have a "taste" for.
One of my patients found that they suddenly had a craving for crab meat.
Know this, the more weight you gain and the more muscle growth you see your now positive attitude will demand you eat more and more.
Lol, one patient..[ a man ].. actually became a body-builder!
One thing to keep in mind is this: Do NOT expect recovery to happen overnight.!
I may take a year or maybe even longer.
But know this: You CAN overcome this monster! Most suffers do.
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Word of caution: If you are unable to follow this method, if you are unable to keep down even diluted caloric supplements seek medical attention!!! Some [ only a few ] people with anorexia need to be fed either intravenously or by feeding tubes.
Anorexia is a condition that makes no apologies.
However, I think you will have success using my treatment. Just do not expect immediate results!
Good luck...Merry Christmas..Happy New Year..
You can win over this beast. Remember don't expect quick results. Be happy if you gain only 1/2 pound during the first week or two. Keep this in mind...it is 1/2 pound you haven't lost!