Funniest joke someone has ever told you?

[Amanda]

Will be posted to my new Twitter @Just_Love_Songs. PLEASE follow me!

[Hugh]

You did my mom? So, what's it like having sex with a human for once?

[Sword Slasher123]

Will you please tell what is a cyclone?
asked a bank manager in an interview.

Santa: "It is the loan given to purchase a cycle"...

So, as a result he was thrown out of d bank interview..
Now he decided to try his luck at a motor parts company...

Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr.....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

So, thrown out again...

This time...He decided to join an IT Firm...so he booked a ticket to Bangalore...
In d Plane...when it was about to land...

Santa started shouting, Banglore aaya Banglore aaya..Balle Balle..
Airhostess: Shhh! B silent.
Santar: ok ok, anglore aaya, anglore aaya,alle alle..

As a result...he was taken to court..for disrupting d peace & harmony..

In d Court...
Judge: “Order, Order”
Santa: “one Pizza, two Dosa, three Idli & 1 Cold-Drink..!!
Judge: “Shut Up!”
Santa: “No No, ….. 7-Up“...:pFun 1
Learn Chinese!;

That's not right ----> Sum Ting Wong
Are you harboring a fugitive? ----> Hu Yu Hai Ding
See me ASAP ----> *** Hia Nao
Small Horse ----> Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach? ----> Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped into a coffee table ----> Ai Band Mai Fa Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift ----> Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here ----> Wai So Dim
I thought you were on a diet ----> Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone ----> No Pah King
Our meeting is next week ----> Wai Yu Hum Nao
Staying out of sight ----> Lei Yung Lo
He's cleaning his car ----> Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive ----> Yu Stin Ki Pu
Great ----> Fa Kin Su Pah!

Fun 2

A dog, a sheep, and Justin Bieber are shipwrecked and wash up on a deserted island. Luckily they find food and shelter and are soon settled into a livable routine.
The highlight of their routine happens every evening. They sit together on the beach and watch the sunset before going to sleep.

After about a month with no human contact, Justin begins to feel very lonely. One evening on the beach, while watching a particularly stunning sunset, he finds himself quite heartsick and lost in romantic memories.

As this is happening, it occurs to Justin that he may be stuck on the island idefinately, and being a boy with "needs," he finds himself suddenly and powerfully attracted to the sheep.
At the exact moment he looks at the sheep, the dog sees what is happening, gets jealous, growls at Justin, and that is the end of that.

Several weeks later, a beautiful teenage girl washes up onshore, badly hurt. Justin nurses her back to health for the next month, and they develop an extremely deep emotional bond. The first night that the girl is able, she joins the three out on the beach to watch the sunset.

Justin, being a normal boy, soon feels his passion rising up through his loins, and he decides to act on his impulses. He leans over to the girl with a sly smile on his lips and says, "Uh, do you mind taking the dog for a walk?"

Fun3

Santa was interviewed at the US Embassy for a visa.
Consul : What is your name?
Santa : Santa Aziz
Consul : Sex?
Santa : Six to ten times a week
Consul : I mean, male or female?
Santa : Both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul : Holy cow!
Santa : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul : Man,…….. isn’t it hostile?
Santa : Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul : Oh………. dear!
Santa : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!!!!..

Mr.been learn a essay to write a essay about my friend. But in the the test the essay is My father. He replaced friend and write the essay.

I am a very fatherly person.I have many fathers. Some of my fathers are male and some of my fathers are female.I have a new neighbor. I wish to make him my new father.

[Third Earth Age]

A young giggling girl once told me. "Barack Obama is a competent President". Ya, that was the funniest joke I've ever heard.