Why do people pretend......................?????????

[~Savannah~]

Why do people pretend like everything is fine in their llife and act like they are perfectly happy in person but then use facebook to vent and complain about all of the bad things going on with them. For example, my friend acts so happy and cheerful in person but when he gets on facebook he is always complaining about something and you can tell he is unhappy and depressed. Why put up a front?

I don't think I will ever underestand facebook and why people post such private things on the internet for the entire world to see.

[jeno_801]

I don't understand why people post things for anyone to see either.

Sometimes people act like everything is ok simply because it makes them feel better.

[Captain Oblivious]

Well, Mark Zuckerburg supposedly created this social network as a means of blending the multi-faceted lives people lead. It's actually intended to turn the many guises people may have into a single, more consistent persona.

In answer to your question, "Why put up a front?": it's a social tactic, pretty much. With people who are generally upset, they may see facebook as a venting site, because in reality, if they were ALWAYS negative around their friends, they'd have fewer friends. It's a sad truth, but there are studies (and most of us know from personal experience) proving that individuals prefer to surround themselves with others that will help them feel happy. We enjoy being happy, and thus prefer to be around those who increase that happiness. So, maybe the guy you're talking about is happier in person because that's what he feels he has to do in order to maintain the enjoyment that his friends find in his company; facebook becomes a way of exposing how he actually feels in a less direct way.

Some are the opposite. I have a friend that is very happy on facebook, because he tries to make everyone think that things are fine (while he's in France teaching english), but it turns out that he's instead struggling and finding himself very unhappy. Even more, many people act like everything is NOT okay even though they have a fine life. They exaggerate the downs of their life to bring more attention to them and to gain others' sympathy so as to play off other parts of their life (my brother does this).

Just look around. Everyone puts up a front. SOME sort of front. You may not think you do, but that's unlikely. I myself do without consciously doing so, I'm sure. For example, I feel that my friend needs to start looking for guys that take her seriously rather than being a booty call and then complaining that the guy doesn't want it to be exclusive, but I know from her personality that she would find that very offensive and would be unlikely to respond in any positive way; she'd probably say that I'm insulting her "boyfriends", so I instead let her vent. It's hard to maintain friendships and social circles without adapting yourself. However, I will agree that too many people put up a front that they themselves dislike. Putting up some sort of front is a fine defensive action, but the important part is to still let your true self through enough that you maintain your personality. Nobody's perfect.

People post private things on the internet because of the relief it often gives them to feel that they're letting go of that front, and knowing that somebody is aware of their experience. It's like a journal; I'm not sure about others, but I find that writing down my thoughts and feelings on paper almost literally drains those stresses out of my body. It's as if they manifest themselves physically so that it's easier to deal with. Anyway, those are just my opinions. It changes from person to person