How do I break up with my boyfriend? Please help me!?

[jamie]

I am 18 and my boyfriend is 22. I've been with my current boyfriend for a little over a year now. At first I was head over heels and I wanted to be with him forever. However about two months ago it really started to wear off and now I find myself not attracted to him at all. I dont get excited to see him or touch him and I find myself getting annoyed. My dad is very sick and dying and my boyfriend is such a big help with my family. He does everything and so I feel guilty that he's done so much.I am leaving for college in September but he wants to stay together and get married and be together forever. He always talks about it and says he loves me so much. How do I tell him and when and what do I say. Please help me I've never had to be in this position before. Thank you

[just me]

tough answer here how could you let something go that you have been with for that long. hes good to you and your family why in the world would u let something go like that not sure what to say give it some time though

[K D]

Once you go to college it will fade away. They all do, no matter how much every high school lover thinks their romance is different and will last forever. There is no easy way to break up with someone. Just have some class and make sure you end it with him before you start flirting with someone else.

[Craspedia]

Unfortunately this is just life. When relationships end without any particular reason, it is really hard. I have been in your shoes before, and I just fell out of love. It was heartbreaking, because I still cared for him a lot, but I just didn't see myself with him any more. I just had to be honest with him. It wasn't easy. He cried, I cried. I told him I was sorry but I couldn't help - or change - how I felt. I never wanted to hurt him, but you have to put your own happiness first. I told him I understood if he wanted to cut contact, but that I would like it if we could be friends one day. He needed time, but we eventually became really good friends again once the hurt wore off a bit. Best of luck

[Rahul]

Ending a relationship is a difficult decision, here are some tips to help you out.

1. Do it yourself - In person. Don’t text, email or tell him/her over the phone, or even have a friend do it for you. Give your soon-to-be ex the respect he deserves in hearing the words from your mouth and in seeing you tell him/her in person. Do not try this:

> Breaking up over the phone
> Breaking up by text message (or Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, email etc)
> Lying to avoid the real issues
> Creating elaborate plans to make Him/Her to break up with YOU.

2. Pick an appropriate place to break up - Choose a place where your partner will be able to get emotional or ask questions. You owe him/her the opportunity to talk to you about why you’re letting him/her go.

3. Allow enough time for your partner to process the information - Remember, you’ve known for some time that you were going to break up, but it might take a few minutes for your partner to be okay with the news. Don’t just tell him/her you’re ending it and get up and leave. Allow a few moments for the news to sink in, and then ask him/her if he/she has any questions.

4. Be respectful Don't devolve into a swearing match - No matter how you feel right now, remember that there was something about this person that drew you to him/her. Don’t diminish his/her character or criticise him/her or become verbally abusive.

5. State your reasons for breaking up in a straightforward but thoughtful manner - Even if he/she has hurt you, don’t say purposefully mean things to get back at him/her.

6. Don’t suggest you two can remain friends if you have no intention of doing so - Using this line is a cop out and will only serve to give your partner false hope.

7. Wish him/her the best and mean it - It can be a scary thing to break up with someone who isn’t right for you. Trust that you are doing the right thing for you and your partner.

8. Lock your Heart up and Toss the Key - Being extra nice will do no good. Actually, it may give the other the sensation that you are second guessing your decision. Don't start the "I need time to think it over" cliche. This will be perceived as if you are leaving the door slightly open to hopes.

9. Give your ex some space - It’s natural to be curious about how your ex is doing. It’s also possible that you’ll want to make yourself feel better by hanging out with someone you know is still into you, but doing so is immature and will only serve to hinder you in moving forward. Avoid hanging out or keep showing up at the places you know your ex will be, just because you’re bored or because seeing him/her gives you an emotional high, until you’ve given the break up some time to absorb.

10. Avoid Yo-Yo Effects - Be determined to break up. Don't break up and get back again. This will only prolong an already pitiful situation. Breaking up and coming back, creates a frustrating yo-yo effect which will wreck only havoc in your life. Your ex may take the break up in a stride at first, but then call or email you begging for a second chance. Remember that you are breaking up with him/her for a reason, so don’t second-guess yourself. If you receive a call or email from your ex, tell him/her politely once that you will always care for him/her but your relationship is over.

11. Strictest Rule to Follow >>> "No Sex With the Ex" - Look, I know it will be tempting and most likely there will be occasions that he/she will try and tempt you or request you to have sex just for old times sake!!!! However, when this happens, keep one thing in mind: YOU BROKE UP. You will never get over your ex if the two of you have Sex after the break up. So when you see your ex contemplating (or tempting) you for one more roll in the hay, just for the heck of it, repeat to yourself: "NO SEX WITH THE EX".

12. Aftermath - Don't openly discuss the contents of the breakup. That's between you and the other person. It's quite possible that you'll horribly embarrass him/her if you start gossiping about what happened, so clam up and keep your problems to yourself.
Good Luck>r