could you check my paragraph?

[Min]

Hello I am esl-student..
My writing teacher want to fix my paragraph to a tutor..
but i coundn't meet the tutor
could you fix my paragraph??

Technology in internet.
Technology in internet.

Have you ever used the internet service? Yes or no? If you said no or you don’t recognize

that use internet, it would be not true, because we are easy to use the internet service, such as

public place, café, and in the school anywhere anytime. After invented internet service, the number

of Internet users has increased Tremendously. Accoding to report 105,170,327 active web surfers in

the US and 165,745,689 people in total who have access. Our life-style has been changed. We are easy

to get information and our life-style is more comfortable.

First, before invented the internet shopping service, people who want to buy something

had to go to shopping center, also some people used television-home shopping to buy more

comfortable. But Television home shopping using people just choose limited product-list. They

want free-shopping and unlimited product list. Many companies already knew that customers

want to be easy to buy their products. At that time, internet service invented and then thousand of

internet shopping sites were created by companies. They took advantage of internet. After then

people don’t need to go to shopping center to buy something also they are easy to buy many

products in their room or office.

Second, parents are ever fearful for their children. They want more education for their children.

They are stressed out when their children couldn’t get good grades. And millions of children are

still being denied a proper education, because their parents are too poor to send them to

school. They wanted additional education for their children. After invented internet service, many

education sites are appeared. After then a lot of students are easy to get high quality of

education service at low cost on the internet. There are available education to poor children and

rich children.

Third, after invented internet service, people want new entertainment service. People want more

fun and interesting entertainment. And then many entertainment sites are created, such as

facebook and yahoo and google. On these sites we can enjoy their service also we don’t need to

pay money to enjoy entertainment service. People start to make their personal homepage and

they want to decorate their homepage. Entertainment sites get ready for user icon and

background image for users. Users enjoyed using their free-service. People found new

entertainment.

Finally, before invented internet , people were hard to search information. If someone needed

information, they should go to library or public place. But now they don’t need to go to library,

because we are easy to get information on the internet , such google, yahoo.


But after invented internet, we have had many problems for instance, after appearance internet

shopping mall, people are easy to buy low quality of products, because they can’t check up their

items. And young people don’t want to go to outside to play with their friends, because they

already enjoy to play internet entertainment site. After invented internet, we got both merits and

faults. We have to control that how to use internet service. Merits or Faults

[Rodica]

Have you ever used the internet service? Yes or no? If you said no, it would be not true, because it is easy to use the Internet service, at a cafe, at school, anywhere, anytime.

After the invention of the Internet service, the number of Internet users has increased tremendously. According to a report, there are 105,170,327 active web surfers in the US and 165,745,689 people in the world, who have access. Our life-style has been changed. It is easy to get information and our life is more comfortable.

First of all, before the invention of the internet shopping service, people who want to buy something had to go to shopping center, also some people used home-television shopping to buy more comfortable. But home-television shopping sells limited products. People want to buy any product. Many companies already knew that customers will be willing to buy their products online. At that time, internet sell service was invented and then thousand of internet shopping sites were created by companies. They took advantage of internet. After that people don’t need to go to shopping center to buy and it was easier to buy from their homes or offices.

It's not a paragraph. It's a novel.
In fact, you used an automatic translator and you don't want to make any effort. If someone fix it, you will not have any benefit. A tutor can explain to you many things. I hope you can make the difference between your text and this one. You have to understand every word, every phrase. You miss verbs, subjects, objects and because of that it doesn't make sens.