I've accepted myself, how to come out? be accepted by others?

[Robzxox]

So, i've accepted myself being Bisexual, more lesbian than straight though.
I would like to be open and be able to walk around with friends in town and be like 'oh, she's fit!' like you do to guys!
my problem is, i only have one friend in college who i hang out with... she's really judgmental and a bully to others, i hate this about her. Do i try make new friends then slowly come out?
I go to a farm where i have friends, all different ages, we only hang around at the farm, should i tell them? i think they'll accept me no matter what, i've know them over 5years! and one girl has already gay friends!
also, my mam, she's not the best person to talk to, should i come out to others first or her? i feel most uncomfortable telling her than anyone!
i had a friend last year who's gay, but we don't see each other anymore, he's pretty bitchy, but we text very frequently, should i tell him with him being gay?
everyone i know who is gay, has always acted/had the camp look so people have always assumed they're gay/named them so theres wasn't as hard to come out, i've never been asked or assumed i'm gay/bi, i feel this makes it harder! i'm not butch nor femme, i've had my hair cut shorter today, but it's nice! i wear eyeliner ect, i would like to look more 'gay' so i get asked/people assume but not sure how! i wear plaid sometimes but not much! i tend to wear hoodies alot with plimmy's/converse!
i'm Bi, i like myself, i just want to be me to others! not much to ask, just how?

[little H]

Warning! The bellow answer is an opinion from a straight guy.

Sexuality is and will always be a part of what you are but it alone doesn't determine who you are. Sadly, there are many who have trouble accepting this, forget this or even choose to ignore it. That said, how (or even if) you come out depends on your surroundings. If you risk loosing people you love or alienating yourself it might be better not to come out. Sure a friends might not know the "whole" you but that shouldn't change your relationship. What do you value more; your relationship of being entirely open? You won't be entirely open about yourself, but you'd still be you. You'd just have to refrain from saying "oh, she's fit".

But if you have to be dishonest? I'd be wary of any environment if you had to be dishonest about sexuality, straight or not. Take Morgan Freeman's twitter quote "I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole." If you have to be dishonest with someone about your sexuality just to preserve your friendship then that friendship isn't worth having in the first place.

If you do choose to come out, is should be in a statement, not a manner of behavior. Not that acting gay, bi or whatever is necessarily a bad thing, but it doesn't actually mean your that. In other words, don't announce your bi by acting bi. Cutting your hair short and dressing in guys clothes for example doesn't make you a lesbian anymore than having long hair and wearing girly clothes makes you straight. You'd only be enforcing a stereotype. Instead just offer the information casually if you feel it's important. Ask yourself how many heterosexuals do you know and how you know that.

I would be weary of telling others before your immediate family. I would like to think that you're mother would be accepting of you being bi and even if not, that she would learn to accept it. However if everyone else knows but here, then that says you don't trust her accepting you. if, let's say she becomes one of the last to learn and DOES accept you then that means you doubted her and didn't trust that she loved you as much as she does. This would be very painful for here and subsequently for you too. It would add much unnecessary, and unfortunate strain on an important relationship. However I do not know you or your mother, but you do. All I can say with any certainty is that you should put aside any petty arguments or disagreements that you might have and tell her if not first, soon after.