I may be sexually frustrated?

[Brandon]

Hey everyone.

Quite recently I've been experiencing a very short temper and a fair amount of anger just in general. I'm a seventeen year old male and I have a number of different stressors ranging from activities at school and also in my personal life. School went out of session mid-December for winter break, and it's been nearly three weeks (I go back this Monday on the ninth). For a a good portion of break, I've been isolated at home with no company, and the silence drives me insane. I do go out often to exercise and workout, but my car isn't available to use for the duration of the vacation.

Anyway, I was wondering if it was possible for isolation to result in the increase of aggression. The reason I brought up sexual frustration in the title, is because I also haven't had any sex for a good number of months now, and that's been sort of a shock on my body as well. I understand that hormones play a huge role in this phase of body development, so teenagers tend to experience an excessive amount of mood swings.

Just recently within the past week, I met someone who I have an interest in and I'm still getting acquainted and such, but I noticed that when I have to wait long periods of time for a response to a text, or when I begin to feel the wrong vibe in a conversation, I start to get a little upset (I do well to contain myself though). By wrong vibes, I mean not getting a good positive feedback in response, or being unable to make any significant impression. Frankly, I've become very bored with self-masturbation, and I fear for my lack of patience. I'm trying to approach this issue as professionally as I can, but it's beginning to reach a breaking point. I'm starting to lose focus and interest in my usual activities, and I'm not performing as well as I should be in school. I've also noticed a fair amount of anxiety and depressing thoughts-- I'm terribly lethargic when I'm home alone day after day with nothing to do but Facebook and TV or video games. Exercise can only be so entertaining until I have to head back home to the same environment. It's difficult to explain the feeling, but it almost feels like pint up energy. I feel like I can just erupt at any moment. I'm trying the best I can to compose myself to this other significant person, but it's just moving very slowly. At least that's how it feels. It's only been roughly one week.

Any feedback would be helpful. Tips on new approaches or ways to relieve my stress would be absolutely delightful. Thanks everyone!

[burtlikko]

You're seventeen. A lot of the mood swings and inappropriate aggression comes from an abundance of testosterone in your system. Having sex or not won't affect it much -- but working out a lot will increase it. Not always a bad thing; working out and getting that rush of testosterone will help you set aside some of those lazier impulses. Nothing wrong with playing video games, but there ought to be other things too.

Also, you're seventeen. Seventeen year old guys are horny as all get out, pretty much all the time. That's inherently frustrating. You say you're bored with self-pleasure -- have you tried using porn to enhance the experience? Technically you should be 18 before using porn, but let's get real here. If whacking it isn't really your thing, then maybe once a week ought to be enough to keep your sexual impulses reasonably placated until you can hook up with a girl.

And finally, you're seventeen. You're right on the verge of adulthood but not quite there yet; you're articulate and smart based on your question and your ability to engage in self-reflection, so you're probably looking forward to college and moving on past high school but not quite there yet. Here's the thing about late adolescence -- it soon turns in to young adulthood. Young adulthood ROCKS. You'll be at college, having a great time, filling your brain with all kinds of cool knowledge, tons of social opportunities, and at the peak of your physical life, with just the unpleasant extremes knocked off the cycles you're describing now, as you attain real control and comfort with your body and your personality and your place in the world. It's natural that you're impatient to start that.

You'll get there, dude. And it's gonna be every bit as good as I promise. In the meantime, what you're going through is what we all went through. Enjoy the good parts, endure the bad parts, learn from it. Good luck, man.

[Aid821]

I don't think you're sexually frustrated, i think it's the combination of all of the things you've described making you frustrated, combine that with some anxiety/depression and it can leave you feeling pretty crappy.

Additionally, i think being in a routine (such as school daily) and/or a lack of routine (school break, getting bored, silence etc) also can play a factor. These factors could possibly be playing a negative part in the formation of your new relationship too, as you're not in the right headspace or frame of mind.

Probably sounds dumb, but when frustrated, we sometimes think we're going to be frustrated forever! But it may just be a stage, it's not normal to be a happy chappy all day every day so don't be so hard on yourself. Also, another dumb suggestion is talk to yourself, "geez that p**sed me off when that happened". sometimes you need to make sense of what exactly you're annoyed at!

Dude this was hard, i think because you sound so much like me.. should take my own advice..