Really miss my Ex, but hate her at the same time?

[boy 1]

Basically we got together when I was 15 and she was 16, after a while we fell in love and had a great relationship. She was my best friend as well as my girlfriend and that worked both ways. Now after 3 1/2 years she out of the blue breaks up with me.

I treated her amazingly well throughout the relationship and was always there for her when she was having family issues, or friend problems. I bought her loads of presents including a surprise holiday which took me over a year to save for, bearing in mind this holiday was just over two months ago.
She relied on me so much and I saw her nearly everyday of my life, I gave up my friends for her, (which I know is very stupid of me). When I did have the chance to go out with friends she made me feel bad, and know how to make me stay in with her. She stopped me from going away with friends because she wanted me to be with her. But i just loved her sooo much I would've done anything for her.

In September we were both about to move away for University. I went first, and she wouldn't stop crying and left me loads of notes in my bags so that when I got there I knew she still was there. Throughout my first few weeks I had an amazing time, but knowing she was both home, I always made an effort to get in contact with her and see if she is ok.

Then she goes to university and again all seemed well we talked a lot, skyped each other, and after her being there for three weeks I decided to travel down to see her. All seemed well in my eyes and she was herself on the phone. It took me 10 hours to get there, and was greeted by her but something wasn't quite right and she wasn't herself towards me. I thought I will see how the weekend goes, but constantly she seemed more interested in her flatmates than me, it was awkward between us but that was down to her making no effort. Im about to leave hers that weekend and later I txt her asking why it was weird and different. Knowing I had a ten hour trip by myself she calls me to say she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship as she doesn't have time, which is a lame and pathetic excuse. And that she has been feeling like this for a couple of weeks. Which means after a week of university she made her mind up. Then I have to travel back by myself for ages knowing this. I kept trying to contact her in the first week even though she said not to. I didn't know what to do. But i logged into her fb and read messages. She was saying that she is fine to people and that 'I;m having a breakdown lol' and that her and her flatmates were laughing at my fb statuses. Also on twitter I see things talking about a couples cab ride with her, two boys and another girl. I can't help thinking she cheated on me and couldn't admit it or tell me, and has now got with someone else. This is just not her and she has changed into a bitch because she has a few friends and comes across popular for the first time in her life.
I haven't looked at her fb or twitter or tried to contact her for two weeks but still miss her so much and want her back. I wish she would realise what she has done and regret it. But she doesn't and she doesn't care at all it seems like. I can't get around how anyone can change that quickly and forget about me after so long together.
Even her friend said she has changed and it suspicious the way she is acting, and I can't get the thought of her with someone else out of my head. Her mum walked out of the family home two years ago and she has refused to talk to her mum since, so i know she can be very stubborn and won't get in contact with me, although her mum was in the wrong, and I've done nothing to deserve this.

I just am so lost and can't get my head around the situation. PLease help

[Sweet C]

Its sounds like she was needy and when no was around she clung to you. Sounds like she grew and made new friends. Dont hang around her and dont go out with her. She was just using you for money presents and ur attention. I have a friend like that and they are annoying

[Arthur W]

Unfortunately this answer will probably hurt you but anyway , welcome to the world of long distant relationships where the motto usually seems to be "outta sight, outta mind" and actually destroys more relationships than it saves.
People move on with a new life when entering College with all its excitement and meet new friends and old ones get lost in the shuffle. You did nothing wrong he but you just got lost in the shuffle here which is quite normal.
There probably isnt much you can do here now to save this but to let her have her fun and grow up a bit and pray that maybe someday, you two may get back together again. Now you must move on too as moping about her wont help you so get lost in your studies and explore your college world around you too so you have any regrets later. Have fun and good luck

[Christine0x0x]

She is feeling freedom for the first time and she likes it. Give her space, allow her to make her mistakes. Date other people, learn more about yourself, and focus on your friends, studies, and having a good time. Keep in touch with her and if she feels that what you two had together was real, then she will come back to you. Whatever you do, don't be overbearing...you could lose her as a friend, too.

[Cassie B]

This might sound harsh, but you say you can't get your head around the situation, the situation is that you two are done. It hurts, nothing hurts worse than when the person you love tells you they don't want to be with you anymore but there isn't anything you can do about it but try to move on. There isn't a way to try and convince her to want to be with you, and anything you do to that effect will only push her further away. She is starting a whole new chapter in her life and wants to live it and be free, this happens to most couples when they go their separate ways to school. It's hard to start your new life with all these things you want to experience when you are tied down. It doesn't make her a bad person, you can hate her for not wanting to be with you, but it's not her fault if her feelings change. You say you didn't do anything to deserve this, but you should know by the way you are feeling now that you can't control what feelings you have for someone. She's living on her own for the first time, she wants to be able to hang out with new people, spend time with her friends, and be free to do whatever she wants. If you are driving 10 hours to surprise her and snooping through her facebook and personal messages then you are obviously kinda intense and she probably feels smothered. Wondering what happened will make you crazy, go live your own life, meet some new people and find a rebound date. Time makes it all heal, believe it or not most people have been through this before and you will survive as well.