I'm lonely everyday and I feel HOPELESS. I wish I could die already. What do I do!?

[why]

I am so lonely. I'm so awkward around people, I never feel comfortable. My number one concern is that I look ugly sometimes because of my overbite, my teeth protrude out making my mouth look monkey-ish so I always feel kinda awkward about my appearance...can't stop thinking about it whenever I'm around people. I have braces fixing it but it won't look any better for a few months.

At school I'm a loner. People tell me I'm very pretty and beautiful and I feel like I am too except for my mouth and my hair looks ridiculous sometimes...my skin is always dry and peeling around my mouth, lips and nose...

I don't know why...but I'm awkward whenever I talk to people. I just feel uncomfortable around people and I think it's because of how aware I am of my flaws...but I've been this way for 4 years and I'm sick of it! I'm a senior in high school, lonely...People stare at me weirdly all the time because I'm so quiet. Sometimes I feel like killing myself again.

I'm always lonely always wanting to be with people but then when I am around people, I'm really quiet and awkward. Today I spent lunch with my friend and her boyfriend (usually i just hide in the restrooms, I'm not kidding) and I was so quiet pretending to text while they were just talking away...I felt so pathetic.

I can really only talk to people via text but all my "friends" have lives...they're always busy with sports, cheerleading, football, dance, student council, volleyball practices etc...So now I no longer have anyone to text like I used to and now they hardly ever text back...And everyday after school I just go straight home and feel depressed...I wish I could hang out with friends but I just can't be myself around people...I can even feel my "friends" who are so nice and friendly to me starting to act a bit awkward around me now...like they have this wide-eyed, aloof expression on their face, they look a bit bothered when I talk to them...because I'm so uncomfortable and makes things feel awkward.

I usually ignore/avoid people a lot because I'm too scared/shy to talk to them even if they're a friend, even if I'm standing directly beside someone. I just ignore them...then I end up feeling hopeless and distraught. And like a pathetic loser for not being able to just converse with people. I even avoid my teachers.

But some days I feel super confident and self assured and those are the days everyone wants to talk to me, I feel like I'm the most social person ever...but then the next day I crash again...back to being a quiet socially awkward loser.

Today I wanted to ask someone to hang out....I scrolled through my (barely 20-30) contacts and realized I'm not close to any of those people, hardly know them, we don't talk, and/or I couldn't ask them to hang out if I'm just gonna be awkward...and everyone is usually busy anyways. Later i'll go on twitter or facebook and see everyone's pictures of them hanging out with friends or whatever. I hate my life.

I haven't hung out with a friend since 6th grade.

Today after school I don't know what overcame me but as I walked outside waiting for my sister to pick me up, my eyes started tearing up and I had to hurry to the bathroom before anyone would see me crying. And I cried and thought about what to do for like 7 minutes...I kept thinking "Maybe I should kill myself, maybe I'm not meant to be here"...

Then some girl walked in...she was really nice and friendly...I talked to her briefly, she asked if I was gonna stay for the pep rally in an hour...I said I couldn't, even though I really wanted to but I don't have anyone to go and watch with....then said I had to go. I wish I could be as friendly as her, she was 2 years younger then me but sooo friendly and outgoing, nice. I'm so jealous...that's how I USED to be but not I'm like a zombie...

I'm just so lonely, I feel hopeless, like this is never going to end until I die...I hate coming home...I feel bad when my mom is trying to get me to talk to her but all I can think about is how much I wanna have friends, a social life, to be NORMAL. And now awkward and uncomfortable around everyone.

[Moon]

youre so adorable lmfao like i wanna cuddle the f*ck out of you.

[Dali Henriquez]

Join groups like after school stuff yu make friends there

[Courtney]

You sound like you may need some help, Try to make some more friends. After school activities are always good, You could join a church youth group. If you are feeling the need to "Die" You may want to consult therepy, or call a hotline for suicidal thoughts and maybe take some anti depressants. Although you sound to me like you could just use some friends. Hang in there, Just try to get back into the social crowds the right ones.

[Tyler The Creator]

Wow, you really remind me alot of myself. Im sorry that I dont really have an answer but I know how you feel, and just wanted to let you know that you arent alone. You'll find friends eventually and dont ever give up, I know that sounds corny and easy to say. I think about wanting to off myself for awhile now, but I dont know if its me being a coward or something holding me back. Just be strong for me and focus on other things to get your mind off of these insecurities.. Sorry I couldnt help any better.

[Olivia]

Absolutely don't harm yourself! I'm probably your age and let me tell you that although it may not seem like it, but people do care and would hate to see you go! I think the best way to begin a social life is jut by joining school activities and finding friends that are just like you to hang out with. From there, you will get your old self back, and be the person you want to be! GOOD LUCK! Also, I send a big hug and my best wishes! Just remember that harming is NEVER a good choice!

[The Laughing Man]

Never count your own worth by the way you look or the number of friends you have. Who you are is in your heart and that can't be seen or measured. You deserve to be loved, never forget that.

What you are describing sounds like social anxiety. It affects more people than you think. If it is something you don't feel you can get over on your own maybe you should try talking to someone. Whatever you are going through I can tell you suicide is not the answer. In life we all have regrets but each day you wake up is another chance to make things right. Suicide is throwing that hope away. Don't make that mistake. You can still change anything about your life if you are willing to fight for it. So have some faith in yourself and in your future. Things will get better. You just need to find the courage now to speak up and tell those around you what is wrong. They will never know that there is a problem unless you say something.

And don't feel bad about who you are, you aren't alone. 30 contacts in your cellphone is 30 more that I had in high school : )

[Rox101]

I think it's time for a make-over! Bring out the new you. You should find something that you love to do and join a club or something.. do something that makes you feel good. Crying all the time isn't going to make you feel better. Maybe do a little dance right now.. even if you don't feel like it just dance anyways Surround yourself with positive messages and things.. get like 'uplifting' and 'inspirational' type pictures or posters and stick them around your room.
You should also join a sport.. maybe something like boxing or even a team sport. That way you will get fit and usually when you are fit you feel better about yourself, and when you feel better about yourself you will be confident, and when you are confident you wont be uncomfortable around people. Also remember to eat healthy.. drink heaps of water - it will help fix the dryness of your skin and go buy some strawberries and eat them
Once you start feeling good about yourself, other people will your confidence and people are drawn by that. Also you said you dislike your teeth.. everyone has something that they don't like about themselves and get paranoid over it even though other people may not really care. They won't judge you by your teeth if you don't let them... that means you have to give something else for them to judge.. aka your personality, your confidence, your inner beauty. I'm sure you are just as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside.
And remember to also surround yourself with people who you love and who loves you. So talk to your mom and sister, and hang out with them.. have a strong relationship with them. Hope this helps

[Chuck]

don't kill yourself, it's not that deep. there's nothing wrong with being weird lots of weird people are admired these days, including the funny looking ones. i don't know what around your way normal is, but the normal around my way consists of sagging pants, teenage pregnancies, stupid decisions, and saying YOLO after every sentence, so f*** being normal.

honestly, the problems with your skin could just be hormones acting up i have seborrheic dermatitis and even with that i get special creams to get rid of the inflammation that comes with it.

i've experienced problems similar to yours, i had also developed suicidal tendencies, but i realized i
have people who care about me and i love them too much to put them through so much.


i had to learn the hard way that having a bunch of "friends" isn't all it's cracked up to be. a saying that's passed from generation to generation in my family is "you're lucky if you make one TRUE friend in life"

i have a handful of "friends" and their problems make me wunna go back to my loner stoner days.

At the end of the day, it's up to YOU if you're happy, not other people so stop worrying about what other people think because i know from experience once you shake the need to please other people life becomes so much simpler and happier. also ironically enough once i stopped trying to please other people i was the man in highschool all of a sudden.

DON'T KILL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT DEEP

PS try listening to happy/fun music all the time, depressing music tends to keep us in that same bad mood, listen to cheerful things and i'm sure it'll help