Soon to be Marine wife looking for advice...?

[Hiran]

Marry someone with brains and job skills.
jumping on Muslims head is not a skill.

[LOL]

If you plan on following him around (which I'm sure you are), be prepared to deal with times when you two will be apart. Whether it's for a few hours, a few days, or several months, there will be times. In the AF, I've gotten to know quite a few maintainers, and they have shifts for days, mids (afternoon to late night), and evenings. If he's lucky, his shift won't change, but that's highly unlikely. As enlisted, your daily life changes depending on what the mission requires, and if a jet flies in needing repairs on a Thursday, then your weekend suddenly goes bye-bye. There's no such thing as "just enough" mechanics. Maintainers are an extremely vital piece of the mission, so their schedules can and will fluctuate to meet the mission's needs. I don't know how they operate on the marine side, but I doubt it's much different as far as mechanics are concerned. Given his job, he will probably be prone to more deployments. There's no such thing as a "fair share." I've seen a Technical Sergeant go for 13 years without deploying ONE time, and that was when they finally made her go. But again, that AF; marines may be different about deployments. The minimum time away from home for him would be over 6 months (I think, 9 months? Don't quote me on that, though).

As far as your social life is concerned, if you do make friends, be sure to keep in contact on a site like FB or Twitter, or with Skype. The two of you WILL part, and this will help you two keep the friendship going. You will be moving frequently, but not as often as unmarried enlistees (unless marine rules are completely different, command sponsorship will add years to each tour he has a sponsorship submitted for). On that note, if you have to travel overseas to the next base together, have him start the sponsorship process as soon as possible, and give him a complete paper medical history of yourself beforehand. We were completely unprepared because of an emergency and it was a royal nightmare trying to get through it.

Keep in mind that ANY major life choice that either of you will make will require paperwork. Lots of it. Marriage, children, moving, adopting pets, etc. Do not wait! Turn in any paperwork as soon as possible.

Pets is another good topic. Check with the installation rules for pets in base housing before you adopt or buy a pet. Exotic pets such as birds, snakes, and ferrets I would steer clear of, since they will most likely not allow them unless they are in off-base homes. Exotic in this case would basically mean anything that's not a tradtional pet. There may also be restrictions for certain breeds of dogs. I know that in Japan you cannot have Pits in on-base housing, so that is an example (Pit Bulls are perceived as a "potentially dangerous" breed). If you cannot live without a dog/cat, bear in mind that if you do travel overseas, it can and will be placed in quarantine for a lengthy amount of time.

Jobs for spouses: There is something called enlisted spouse preference in the AF, but the marines may also do that. For each base, a spouse is allowed to apply this preference ONCE total to appear higher up on the list of applicants looking for work. If you use that for a job, but then quit, that's it. No more til the next move. You can still apply for another job on base, but your name will appear lower on the list of applicants than it did before. Realize that they are not obligated to give you work just because you chose to follow your husband and need money(not saying you are). Be prepared to have a lot of free time in the first few months of relocating. You never know what the job market will do.

Customs and courtesies: As a civilian, you are both not bound by any, and are not obligated to receive any special treatment. You are just "Ms. Jane Doe". However...civilians are still expected to honor daily songs (you will find out about that after your first base).

Lastly, the best way to sum up most government processes: hurry up and wait. You'll know what that means when that happens. MEPS is a great example.

[Elias]

Keep your fucking legs closed.

[*alwayssmile*]

Hello, I'm a Marine wife and you sound like how I was 5 years ago. At the time we were dating and he was going to leave in a month. Well his recruiter called and said you can leave in a week Or six months from now. He left in a weeks notice.
Let me say that no matter how strong your relationship is there will be times where your relationship is tested whether its time apart, trusting eachother or no communication. I will say though that your relationship being how strong you say it is will Definetly help getting through your time apart. Boot camp is 13 weeks long. If you're having a hard time missing him, know that he is having an even harder time. You have friends and family to speak to. He has friends at boot camp that he can speak to only when he has permission to do so. Write every day and at the end of the week mail out all the letters at once. (date them so he knows the order) don't decorate the envelopes with pictures or stickers.
After boot camp he will have a little time home then he goes to MCT. That is Marine Combat Training which is only a few weeks long. After he's done with that then he goes to his MOS school in Florida. I'm not sure how long it is but for my husbands school at Pensacola it was 3 months. Once graduated he will get orders to his first duty station, he will be there for at least. 3 years then he can put in for orders to a new base.
Once you're married you will learn that you will need to be polite on base and dress appropriately. They have high standards for their Marines but they have standards for spouses as well. People aren afraid to call you out and tell you to leave the MCX or 7day because of the way you're dressed.
Going off of what lol said, it you get stationed overseas and have a dog please start quarantine ASAP so you don't have to do the full 180 days in the country you're flying to.
Also, sergeant is abbreviated as Sgt.
Any other questions feel free to message me.

[DrZ]

I am going to just focus on one part of what you wrote here...and that being.... Which would mean we would be getting married in about April...not long to plan a wedding.

After he finishes his school in Florida and most probably gets transferred to MCAS Miramar, California. He might be a LCpl (E3)....but perhaps even a PFC (E2). Apartment prices anywhere close to Miramar are going to be probably $950 and up. Gas in CA is going for near $5 per gallon and food prices are not cheap either. When you start to calculate all the costs plus what you are bringing in... it is going to be pretty tight... if not almost impossible to do much other than survive. Are you ready to do that? Is he?

There are many things to consider prior to getting married at any time...but when you throw in the military... possible deployments.... TAD (temporary base reassignment)... and being broke.... it makes little things become much bigger.

TALK.... PLAN.... SAVE UP SOME CASH. Make sure you can survive the short time he will be away during boot, SOI, and A School prior to walking down the aisle.

Been there...done that...my marriage lasted 7 years of my 8+ year service and we knew each other for over 5 years prior to taking that walk.

Semper Fidelis,
Z

[Critter]

Sounds like you two have solid relationship on which to build already. That is always a plus. And from the real answers on here you have some great advice already. One of the hardest things to take with the military is the schedule. As you're finding out right now, it's written in water. He could leave any time between now and March with December as a "planned" early date. If you can learn to deal with that you'll have won half the battle of the military dependent. The other half is how to deal with the emotional swings those changes in times and togetherness can bring. Don't be alarmed if you find yourselves arguing more often as his ship date approaches. It's common. It happened every time my husband shipped out for a Navy deployment. Knowing it was going to happen didn't stop it, knowing just made us faster to forgive and forget and get back on track to enjoying our time together.

My other advice is probably going to be contrary to what you'll hear from just about everyone else. When he gets to his duty station have him ask for FRG (Family Readiness Group) contact information. Even if you two haven't managed to get married yet. Some groups do allow girlfriends to participate if the service member okays it. Or search any social media site for family groups in your area. I've seen them of Facebook and Myspace and Yahoo groups and CafeMom as well as found them just through searching on Google. The groups have a reputation of being catty and cliquey and some are. But FRGs are there to give the spouses/families information on the military lifestyle in general and pass on information that is unit specific. Even in the worst one, the cattiest and cliquey-est, that I was a member of, there was always one person who was there to actually help. And in the best groups, I made more contacts than you can count. The good people were my support group through 20 years of DH's Navy career and are still friends I maintain contact with. And most of them were people I would have NEVER met any other way.