Am I being dumb? Paranoid?

[Evina..]

Hello.
So every time I'm curious about something people here always seem to know the answer. And because I'm kind of loosing it right now, I could use some answers.

So I have this boyfriend, and I love him with all my heart. But there are things that don't seem right, and since he's my first real relationship I don't know if I'm just overreacting or if there's something wrong with him.

Example nr. 1: I found some texts of a girl calling him my love, and he called her baby sweety and so on. I freaked out. He swore that there was nothing going on and never was, and that she just talked that way to everybody. After a while I believed him and closed the subject.

Example nr. 2: When I want to talk to him, and he's busy, and I get angry about it, he just freaks out. Now, it's not like I'm sticking to him like glue, we don't even see each other that often.
A few days ago his words were: We've just talked on the phone for an half hour, you are so grasping, you just want attention 24/7. 1 hour is too much?

Example nr. 3: The last 3 days his phone was shut off and I couldn't reach him in any way. He said he was going to his friends. So I opened his twitter, just to see if he had tweeted. And when I saw that same text-girl I freaked out and cried about I just had this strong feeling I had to see her profile. And she had tweets that he was the last 3 days with her, that they had so much fun and that she loved him so much and so on. The tweets continued until 4 in the morning, he wouldn't even pay attention to me because I choked him after being on the phone for 1 hour, but he sat with her until 4 n the morning??
This is what really, really hurt me. I can't explain the feeling, I'm crushed.
So I contacted his sister yeah, bad move I know. But I was desperate for answers and I couldn't reach him in any way. So finally he called and said his battery was empty and he swore he wasn't alone with her and that he would never ever cheat on me.

I believe him, am I being dumb?
And I can't stop thinking about, does he really rather spent time with that girl or am I just being paranoid?
It really hurts so much, I am very patient and I try not to make a big deal, he gets angry when I try to explain that some things he does hurt me, but I am running out of patience.

I am so full, I've got this feeling that I'm about to explode, these are just examples, there are so many things. He just won't listen to me. Please don't say leave him. He is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last when I go to sleep. I want to fix it. He of all people is the first person that gave me the feeling I was alive, that I'm a person, and beautiful. He has really good sides.

How can I make him listen to me? Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

I'm sorry for the huge story. And if I made any spelling mistakes, I'm from the Netherlands so please forgive me.

Thank you in advance, for reading and helping.
Thank you for your answers, your advice really helped.
We are dating 8 months by the way

[Jonathan Joekel]

yes

[Mikami Teru]

Whether he's lying or not, he's trying to make you jealous. Show that nothing bothers you.

[Jazzy Baby]

Ummm.. Woww. I don't want to say that he wont change.. because people do change, but they have to want it first. He feels like he has you wrapped around his finger. So, what you have to do is back down and tell him your not sure about your relationship, and that you need space and time to think. Now, it's gonna be hard, your gonna want to text him. You will keep picking up your phone and wanting to dial his number and tell him that your sorry and you miss him and you love him and you want him back, BUT YOU CANT. For the time when your taking time, you cant contact him at all. You cant check his twitter or his facebook, or anything. If you cant trust him enough to not check behind him then nothings changed. You have to wait until he comes crawling back to you begging for you to forgive him. You have to let him know that you know about that girl, and tell him he has to choose. You have to tell the girl that your his girlfriend and if she argues with you, then things between them were pretty serious. When he finally comes to you, tell him that he has to wait until he's totally ready and can commit to you, and is rid of that girl. Tell him you care about him but you wont be second choice. If he doesn't come back to you then he wasn't worth it, because that means he doesn't care. Good luck, I hope it works out for you, and I hope you take my advice.

[Serene E]

You're being dumb, there's someting going on between them, more than just friends.

[j.j_ju]

it seems you are in a situation that i was in with my girlfriend. we went through the same thing actually. i spend the whole day with her and when i get home she calls again.. I'm not even able to say hello to my family properly and i have to answer her call it was frustrating. of course i was wrong all it would take is just two minutes of talking nicely and than that was it. does your bf have problems you and if he does, does he share it with you or keep it to himself. if he keeps it to himself that means he is just frustrated and you caught him at the wrong moment. and if he shares it with you than something might need a looking into. and about the girl well i had a friend quiet the same, we started dating and then we broke up but we still spoke to each other. and she used to talk to me the same way even when we were friends. and she used to talk like that to everybody actually. xoxo lu and all that. but you can never be really sure what could be going on. but you shouldn't create an issue.. if you have doubts in your mind ask him, dont fight but just ask nicely. and always believe your eyes and no one elses. alot of haters out there and people say things just because they dont like to see two people happily together which is why it is important to see it and believe it with you own eyes. trust in your heart. some guys have commitment issues or are scared of being shut off from the world. like my gf she doesnt let me talk to any girl at all.. of course i say hi hello and than thats it. but then i dont mind because she is the only girl i need to talk to.

trust is the most important thing in a relationship. that is what keeps a relationship going. I know that what is happening to you hurts. its like the person who is your whole world doesnt care about you. its a sort of a phase most guys go through. give it time it will blow off that is if it is a phase. if it doesn't blow over than it will be time for you to do something. keep remaining patient and stay strong, if it is meant to be it will definitely work out. you have every right to feel the way you feel now. and well im sorry that he doesnt listen to you and how you feel. my guess he just might be insecure or on a guilt trip.

How long have you guys been dating?

and sorry for the long message. i hope it helps..