My insecurities are ruining my relationship?

[......]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we have always had issues. I was on anti depressants which, if anything, made me even more unstable but I have been off of them a year, calmed down a lot, got myself a job and am making progress.
But these days it seems that my insecurity is the problem. A year ago I found a message on his phone by a girl, she was named 'hannah uni' it turned out to be from a girl he used to like and talk to and flirt with, I had asked him not to have contact with her anymore because there relationship was always based on flirting and I thought it wasnt appropriate and they couldnt continue as friends. He had added her number again and named her as someone else and I found out he had flirted with her which he excused as 'banter', until them I never expected anything like that from him but since then I check his phone, Facebook when its open and his internet history to look for anything inappropriate which obviously creates problems. I found his history that he had been searching for the name chloe alot in his facebook history to try to find a girl that he worked with and when he found her he had gone through all of her pictures and not even added her and we argued about that. Recently he told me about his friends girlfriend looking like a model and I went off on one about it, I searched his history last night and found that he follows a girl on twitter who takes pictures of her breasts randomly and had been going through loads of her pictures looking at her breasts, which is made worse by the fact that I am flat chested and conscious about this.
I feel like Ive held onto all of these things and am now very insecure with him, I don't feel like Im good enough, I worry hes going to cheat on me and use these examples as evidence that he might cheat or would cheat or that he wants someone else (Im the only girl hes been with). I don't know how to accept that hes with me and stop checking and worrying about all of this. I don't know if I'm right to be annoyed about these things or if Im overreacting?
I was bullied at school and college, at school I was bullied about my looks and at college I was bullied because Ive always suffered from depression, no matter how many people tell me Im pretty now theres still that 13-16 year old girl who hates herself. My family argue all the time and always have and I dont think that has helped, my dad tells me Im useless and a waste of space and always puts me down which has made me over sensitive, my sister can be really horrible to me and tells me no-one wants me around and all I do is fuck everything up, people at school said the same so when Im constantly starting fights and hes telling me that all I do is fuck everything up and Im a nutcase I can't handle it, he cant handle fights. I love him so much and feel like I need him to help me get past these issues and I don't know whos in the wrong.

[purplekitty627]

Sounds like a codependent relationship. You can't rely on him to build you up. You've got to find a way to build yourself up. I know it's easier said than done and I don't know what you go through because it's your life not mine but personally if it were me I wouldn't go through with this relationship. You told him not to talk to her, and he still does it, which proves he can't be trusted. I'm not saying this means that he will cheat, but it does mean that some deception of some kind is going on with him deceiving you. He seems to put you through a lot and you put up with it because you think you need him. You don't need him. You are a woman. Women are strong. From what you've told me, you are very strong inside you just don't realize it. If you decided to stay with him because you feel like he's the only one there for you, I would not fault you, but you have to remember that you are free to leave at anytime, that you will be okay. Just don't marry the guy and get pregnant by him. He clearly has a lack of self-control and you don't want to end up where you have to rely on him for financial support. The people hurting you and oppressing you have problems, not you. I am not a psychiatrist or a qualified doctor, but you do not seem crazy to me.

[Fordranger]

Hey there to start off with your guy is in the wrong! Do you look at other guys dicks over the internet?
Well maybe you should to show him how it feels. if he is serious about you and loves you why is he checking out other chicks boobs???? Flat chested or not you are his gf right? Tell him how you feel and ask him not to do it anymore. If you cant trust him it will never work out! He has to put his priorities straight girl! you should be his main concern and you should get all of his attention not women on a screen!! you deserve better than that, you shouldnt have to put up with it if it makes you so upset. I think you have to communicate your feelings and give him a choice and see how he reacts to that! you deserve respect!! TAKE YOUR RESPECT AND DIGNITY.....Good Luck