I feel stuck and lonely... I need help...?

[LoveIsWriting]

My philosophy in life is to be happy.
Do what makes you happy and change it if it doesn't.
The sad part is, I haven't been happy in 8 years.

I'm 16 and yeah, I was 8 when my world shot to hell...Kinda cliche'.
Anyways, when I was 8 everyone shun me from their group. I wasn't aloud to play or talk to them.
And for what reason you ask? I have no idea.
So for about 5 years I tried getting my "friends" back and it ended with me in the same place as I was 5 years prior.
I gave up trying 3 years ago...I took the hint that i'd never have the "normal" teenage life.
So I rebelled. I mean, not with drugs or alcohol (because lets face it...that is "the norm")
I started writing and reading...a lot. I spent a lot of time watching movies and tv.
What else was there to do?
I don't talk to anyone in school... The rule is, "keep your head down and hope you don't get noticed"

You have to realize that this isn't a fun way of life.
Who wants to be the shy one? When they are actually the outgoing one that nobody cares about?
I'm not shy.
I've tried this program in school where surrounding schools go take classes as one school (just go with me).
I've tried 4 of those classes and people shut me out.
I keep good hygiene, I'm polite and really nice to everyone. I know what it's like to be judged so I don't do that to other people.
I've tried to get my mom on board with homeschooling...That failed. (Don't say anything about this).
I've tried looking into schools nearby to be sent to...Way to much money.
I've tried looking for apartments with my mom...Way to much money.
I've tried volleyball, softball, cross country and tennis... Who wants to be on a team sport being the black sheep?
Basically, I've tried everything my mom and I could think of.
Do you know what it feels like to try and try and not get anywhere?
I'll tell you.
You feel hopeless. You start to question what is the point of life (I mean this as why am i here if its just miserable for me? Not in the sense I am going to kill myself...Im not) Will it always be like this? Why am I not accepted? Whats wrong with me to not be given a chance in about 8 different gatherings? And then you feel weak. You feel like you have given everything you could into making your life decent to not have any good outcome.
You know, I don't even know the last time I hugged someone. I can't remember. And I've never even kissed a guy...Which is awesome.
All I want is 1 or 2 friends to take pictures with and post on Facebook, I want to be tagged in those god awful looking pictures at parties...Normal teens have hundreds of them...I have none. Not even one picture with me and a group of people on Facebook.
I'd like to laugh and mean it. Not laugh and think, "Yeah, they believed that one just like the last."

So, for the next two years what can I do to be happy?
Just slightly, enough to have me stop crying myself to sleep every night.

[Gabriel Eric]

Try getting a cat.

[Maggie]

Seeing as I don't personally know you, your question is hard to answer. Honestly, you could go about it many ways. What I'm guessing would prolly be your best bet would be to make yourself noticeable. Don't go about it in the stupid ways, but if you have the confidence to be a little "different" people will take notice. Something as silly as changing your pants can make people think you're more confident. I got a pair of rainbow tie-dye pants at the state fair last year. When I wore those to school everyone took notice and said how they liked my pants. I wasn't stupid and wearing them with something odd to look outrageous, but it was different enough that people liked my daring to be outside the norm.

Another thing you could try is to find your strength and choose activities that go with it. If you're good at something, people will gravitate towards you. I'm good at music, so others who like music tend to get along with me better. Say you are good at soccer. If you went out for a soccer team and were one of the best players, everyone on the team would be more inclined to want to be your friend, right? Stick with what you're good at.

Hope this helped ^-^

[Mark]

it could be the area you live in. i live 50 miles north of LA, and i have a good amount of friends, but so many people here think theyre too good for you, and blah blah blah. its pathetic. but thats why i wanted to move to oregon. but enough about me;try to join clubs. i know, some of them may be nerdy, but does that really matter?good friends are good friends. and if that fails, try to play a sport you like. we are all friends with each other because we like alot of the same things, and we are friends with the quiet ones on the team too. just pick someone you think you would like to get to know, and talk to them. a simple hello will suffice for the first time. and be yourself. dont be of those stupid poser girls, i see then at school and i dont respect them.you will find people that are good for you. just put yourself out there;be social.trust me. and dont act sad around people all the time especially if you just met them that gives off a bad vibe. i hope you find friends, i really do (:

[elizabeth]

... Omg... I-I want to give you a big hug that must SUCK dude I'm glad that you have hobbies (the writing especaially, that's what I do when I'm sad). I know you said you tried all sorts of clubs, have you tried a writing club? I'm not in one (yet) but I don't think you have to share if you don't want to. Can you think of any changes that happened when you were 8? I know this will sound mean, but people are, did you get into some kind of accident or do you have anything that makes you look different? It really sucks but when you don't look the same you get kind signaled out :/ do you focus on one group of friends when you try to befriend someone or do you try talking to everyone because maybe focusing on a few people would be easier. Does you're school have an anchors program (that's what ours calls it), you sit with the special needs kids at lunch and sometimes you go do things after school with them like apple picking or I think they did laser tag one time. Volunteer places. Maybe talk to a school councilor or a therapist if you have the $. Could it be possible youre telling yourself tomany negative things and only think people dont like you? i had that problem... If a person just flat out rejects you just ask why.


Edit: I'm all for the making yourself stand out! That's a great idea (I kind of want rainbow pants now too XD ) I have a bowler hat that I wear a lot, I have a turkey feather in it. at first i was a little worried i would look dumb but then i though, meh, i like it so why does it matter what they think? and now I sometimes get compliments from people I don't know that well. EMBRACE YOUR INNER FREAK/OUTCAST maybe people will think you're a rebel and want to befriend you (who doesn't love tie dye pants!?)

[Leah]

Going through something hard to cope with is depressing and lowering self esteem but if you stop sulking and feeling sorry for yourself may be you could make a difference. Try something unexpected, let people notice you, discover your talents and flaunt them don't mind what other people would think of you as long as your doing good then your good. People will eventually come to you when they started noticing your presence.

keep your chin up, be optimistic!
goodluck, life awaits.